I can't sleep, I am up with a sick kitty who is most likely going to die tomorrow. Or tonight. She won't close her eyes. She is soo skinny?

Hopper, my heart hurts so badly for you! I just recently put my kitty down due to FIP, and I completely understand your confusion and pain. My cat hadn't been eating on his own for about three weeks, and had stopped drinking water for a while (then started back up, I think because he hated getting fluids subcu from me so much!).

He was terribly weak and lethargic, and could only walk a few steps before needing to lie down. Over the span of less than three days, he developed major fluid retention. He was off balance and would fall over when walking.

I had taken him to a vet twice before he started getting so ill, and everything checked out (except he had a fever, which dissipate); all labs were normal, negative FIV and FeLV....After that weekend, when his belly became so distended, I had a sick feeling that he had FIP. Took him in to a new vet, explained what had been happening...He aspirated fluid from his belly, telling me ahead of time that if it was straw yellow, it was FIP, and it was attacking his brain, hence the trouble with balance and walking. Needless to say, it was bright straw yellow.

I chose to put my little man down then because I knew he was hurting. When he looked me in the eye, it looked like he had given up. I believe he was ready to go.

It is the most painful thing I have ever done, but it would have been selfish for me to keep him going BECAUSE HE WAS HURTING, and it was attacking his brain, which would have led eventually to seizures and death, even if we had chosen to treat his symptoms with Cortizone shots . Your situation differs. But consider your baby's quality of life.

Tank was sooo sick. Dr had trouble finding a vein to give him his final injection because most were collapsed. He was a sick little boy.

I know it is a tough, tough decision, but you are capable of making it. It is going to hurt, there's no denying that. But everyone here will support you, and listen when you need to talk, and offer consolation and comfort.

Another thing I recommend- do some major research on this ugly disease, if you haven't already. It is frustrating, because you will find that there is a LOT of contradicting information. But, you may feel better knowing what you find out (the stuff that is agreed upon) and you may draw upon that knowledge when the time comes to choose.

This is heartwrenching for you, I know. And I am hurting for you. My decision wasn't as difficult, because it was apparent that I wasn't going to be able to fix him, and he was hurting.

I didn't want him to hurt ever again. Trust your heart and your instinct, and don't be afraid to come to anyone here for support, advice, or perhaps just some kind words. That's why we are all here.

Take care of yourself and your furbabies. Please, please keep us posted on what is happening. We all care!

BTW, just saw the part about humiliating yourself at the vet office....understand they have the most compassion and understanding of your emotions! They will respect your decision to do what is best for your little guy. I bawled like I never have before when the time came with Tank (heck, I'm still a mess!

I'm crying my eyes out right now!) Remember that they are in the proffession to help animals, and they want what's best for your kitty, too, and if euthanasia is what's best, they will support your decision and feel a small part of the pain, as well. Don't worry about that.