I feel strongly about organ donation, but my husband is opposed. Should I fill out an organ donor card anyway?
I agree with @buddawiggi , having an honest discussion with your spouse is key to resolving this issue. Do your research ( good place to start is youtube.com/watch?v=qIRsAFJPW-M here). Find out what your husbands objections are and give him the facts about the process.
He may have fears that are not based in reality. For instance, he may feel that your body will be marred or that the funeral will be delayed. According to "Buzzle.Com Intelligent Life on the Web", neither of these are true.
Address your husbands concerns, alleviate them if you can and try to come to an agreement. If he still opposes and you feel strong enough about donating, I would sign the card.It is your life. However, you need to be aware that before taking donations your family is asked for consent.
On MayoClinic.Com they suggest that: ---quote--- If you have no next of kin or you doubt your family will agree to donate your organs, you can assign durable power of attorney to someone who you know will abide by your wishes. A lawyer can help you prepare this document. ---end quote--- I hope this helps.
I would say that your desire to help save lives by wanting to donate your organs after the unfortunate circumstances that must have befell you in order for you to have the opportunity to donate your organs should outweigh your husbands objection to the idea. However if it is your desire to respect your husbands wishes over your own, which is entirely reasonable and honorable, then I would take heart that the decision to side with him is the right one. I can see now after reading my answer that I have sided with both of you and maybe not been all that much help so I will end with, if I were in your shoes I would follow through with the organ donation card but keeping my spouses feelings and desires in mind I would have a truly meaningful and honest discussion with my spouse so nothing was hidden or misunderstood.
I think organ donation is a very personal thing. These are YOUR donors and this is about the legacy that YOU want to leave. By all means discuss it with your husband and tell him your views and listen to his, but if this is something you are passionate about go ahead and save lives!
Without knowing the reasons for your husband's opposition, it is difficult to give a substantive answer. However, the real issue is what will happen following your demise, timely or otherwise. Since you are of the age of consent and, presumably, of sound mind and body, the courts would be obliged to follow any instructions you had left with or without a will.
Most States would consider an organ donor card to be as valid as a will, unless your family could prove that you were mentally incompetent at the time. So, if you want to be "secretive" about it, then, by all means, sign-up to be an organ donor, but, afterwards, I have a feeling you'll feel terribly guilty about it (you do now! ), and you'll be angry at your husband for making you feel that way, which could end up in arguments or even divorce.
Talk to him about it at length (that's part of what makes a good marriage), or, if you need a bit of moral support, and have very good relationships with both sides of the family and/or mutual friends, why not bring it up, casually, at your next get together?
He should have no say over what you do with your own body if YOU feel that organ donation is something that YOU want to do. He really has no right to not honor your wishes or to try to stop you or convince you to do otherwise because that's what HE wants. I find that petty, controlling and selfish of him.
I'd fill the card out. If he doesn't want to donate HIS organs...that's HIS perrogative but YOU should do what YOU feel is right for YOU... not for HIM.
Yes, I think you should fill out an organ donor card if you feel strongly about this matter. Decisions for personal matters such as this should not be interfered by other people even our loved ones. Its a personal choice.
A personal fulfillment for ourselves.
Your body your choice. However if he feels really strongly about this in the end, he can choose to . Not honor your wishes.
That is sad, but I have seen it happen.
I have to say that I was faced with a similar situation when I changed my driver's license after moving to a different state last year. Being a pre-med student, I am aware of how a healthy organ could change a terminally ill patient's life. But being a parent and spouse, I can also understand how the subject of organ donation involving a family member can conjole up mixed feelings.
True, organ donation is an important aspect of saving lives, especially considering that the organs of just one donor alone can save almost 50 people since donor organs do not only include kidneys, hearts, or livers, but also skin, bone marrow, or corneas from eyes, and many others. But it is also true that once you come face-to-face with the impending or only imagined death of a loved one, the medical marvels surrounding the act of organ donation quickly disappear and doubt or denial set in. When I checked the box to indicate I did wish to become an organ donor in case of an accident that would leave me brain dead, I had full intentions of allowing my organs to be harvested and provided to a patient in need.
When my husband found out, he was less then enthusiastic and placed scenarios in my mind in which doctors would not make every effort necessary to save my life if they found out I was a donor and there were patients requiring organ transplants than matched my donor organs. Needless to say, during the next address change I did not check the "organ donor" box again, with my husband's words still fresh in mind. Later, however, I found myself feeling a bit ashamed of changing my decision, mostly because I never weighed the pros and cons but simply followed my husband's wishes, because he found it hard to accept.
After sitting down one evening, I asked him whether I should actually change the information one last time, since I did not believe my body containing all its organs after death would feel any more complete than without them, as they would no longer serve me a purpose, but would instead waste away. In our case, organ donation is not against either of our religions and after a little bit of research we both found that we had fallen victims to common mythical beliefs surrounding the organ donor issue. We finally compromised and agreed that for now we would settle for simply informing the doctor verbally about wishes of organ donation, should any traumatic event occur.In this sense, I would suggest talking it over intensively with your spouse, doing a little research together and finding out exactly where the opposition to organ donation stems from.
Do you personally have any fears or doubts about the issue? If so, ask yourself why you may feel this way. This might help clarify why your husband feels so strongly about this issue.
If you find no reason why not to donate, then ask your husband to help you understand his problems with your decision to donate. Chances are he does not like the idea of doctors taking parts of his beloved wife and he would rather keep you as whole as you were during the life you spent together. Grief plays a grand role in the decision not to donate a loved ones organs.
Make sure you allow him to understand your wishes as well.
Maybe you should ask him why he feels that way. Some people feel that the body is being desecrated, some feel it is against their religion or that the staff will be too quick to pronounce some one dead when there is a young person waiting for an organ. If you knew why he felt so strongly against it you might be able to clarify some issues for him.
For example, you could put in your Living Will that you want 2 doctors (name them) to follow your care and 2 doctors to pronounce you dead. (I'm sorry this sounds so morbid but this is why people often fail to attend to these matters when alive). If it is a religous reason maybe you could discuss the situation with your priest or rabbi.
I realize that this is not a forum for personal opinions, however, you might ask him how he would feel if his child needed an organ in order to survive and one was not available. One person could help so many people who are left behind. I know this a rather crass analogy but, to me, it is like being buried with your money.
I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.