I have a boyfreind, but I think im still in love with my ex?!?! help?

The trouble with this situation is that to prevent big problems or hurting people or yourself or your reputation, what you have to do is make a decision and make the choice to stick with it for a while. I definitely think it's no good staying in an "up in the air, neither here nor there" sort of a situation. I'm sure if you think about it, you'll realize that being half-and-half about whatever situation you are in is not good for anybody.

If you're actually "with" someone, it should be because you have special feelings toward them and they towards you, and you see some good potential in a relationship with that person, and they see some good potential in a relationship with you. It can definitely be confusing if there are two people in your life at the same time who seem to fit this category. Of course, the more mature and "ready for what a relationship involves" that each person concerned is, the better the result will be.

Sometimes that can be a useful factor in deciding what to do. These are your options: 1. Stay in the limbo situation you are now, being "with" this new guy but continuing to talk to or be around an old flame that you still have feelings for.It is likely that it could sabotage any chance with the new guy, people could get hurt, and you could look bad.

One or both of the people involved will lose trust in you - and may not be able to repair it - and you will probably stay pretty confused. And of course, it's important to realize the reality that when confusing feelings are involved while people have some sort of a "commitment" or "relationship" with somebody, but still feel strongly about and spend time with someone else, they sometimes even end up doing something very hurtful to one or both parties, and regret it greatly. That option sounds the most complicated, confusing, and stressful to me.

2. Go back to your old boyfriend, or 3. Stay single for a little while and figure your feelings out, - in either of these cases, you'd have to tell the new guy "I'm so sorry, but I think I've gotten into something with you when I wasn't really ready.

I should have just left the "you and me" situation at the stage of maybe hanging out now and then, getting to know you a bit with some phone calls maybe, and that sort of thing. Or maybe even just taking a little time to work out what I'm looking for and what's really important to me, and not getting very involved with any guys at all while I do that. I didn't realize that I don't have my whole self to give to you just yet.

I don't know if I've worked through the potential of my last relationship, I have to figure that out as I can't really quite give you my all until I'm sure that is resolved. I sure wouldn't want to find myself sort of stringing someone along, realizing that I can't give them what they deserve with where I am at the moment." If the new guy is pretty good material, really likes you, and there is some real substance and potential in you two, there's a good possibility that he would respect you for being honest about this and give you a bit of time to think about things... maybe do some journal writing, read some relationship info, think things through, and figure out where the potential really is for your future.

It might not be fair to ask him for a big amount of time to just be in "limbo" while you work out what you want, but then again, if he has seen something really special and unique in you that he is looking for, it's unlikely that he would find someone else very special that he wants to get seriously involved in, while you take a little time to think. As far as Option 2 goes, it probably makes it less likely that in future there would still be a potential with the new guy. He would be more likely to feel sort of rejected and perhaps a little used, to see you going straight back to someone else right at this time.

Of course, this does not matter if you and your old flame are really going to work everything out and be happy together. But, when people really are happy together and their relationship works out, often it is because one or both of them took a little time to get to know themselves, really get to know what is going on with the other person, what the reasons for the original problems and original break-up were, etc.Problems can be dealt with of course, but the solutions and the situation can be much more clear when one or both parties has spent some time with "themselves", perhaps doing some journal writing or asking themselves some questions with the help of a good relationship or psychology book. Suddenly, you might find yourself knowing EXACTLY what you can deal with and what you can't; EXACTLY what you are looking for and what you really need in somebody, and finding it a lot clearer whether a certain person is what you need or whether you are really what they need.

You might suddenly have a much clearer answer, like "Okay, there are some difficulties between you and me, but what we offer to each other and our matching up with each other pretty well is worth dealing with those difficulties somehow, together." ...OR.... "I have realized that there are problems with you, with me, or with how we work together, that are BIG - and what we have between us just doesn't add up to enough to overcome it, at this time in our lives, and where we are at in our development. " 4. The final option, of course, is to make a clean break with your old boyfriend, decide your new relationship is worth giving all of yourself to and you are ready to do this, and there is not enough potential with the old relationship to leave off what the new relationship offers.

I think again, this option asks you to suddenly make a big decision when there are clearly confusing, unresolved factors involved. I think even a lot of fairly jealous, insecure men would still understand if you asked for just a couple of weeks to think through your situation, trying to give the person honesty and what they deserve, with an understanding that you are not going to spend that time talking with the old guy getting all further confused. I think a bit of time to think things through might be the least hurtful, confusing, and risky option, which involves the least amount of "loss" or "big decision made too hurriedly", when you look at all of the different choices.

If one of them has a huge meltdown about this, deciding you are not worth a couple of weeks or a month of waiting while you try to sort out your heart and your mind.....Well, perhaps you've discovered some very useful information about their maturity level and level of feelings for you. Good luck and if you need more info check out the sources below.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.