I have a friend who's gained a lot of weight. She's very sensitive about it, but I'm worried she's depressed?

Being overweight and being depressed are not necessarily something that has to go hand in hand. If her being overweight is the ONLY reason you think she's depressed, don't say a word. The last thing someone who is sensitive about their weight needs to hear is you or anyone else pointing it out AND thinking that they are depressed because they are overweight.

Not all fat people are sad; not all sad people are fat. So unless there's some other symptoms that make you think she's depressed, avoid talking about her weight. Trust me.

I need to lose weight, and I would be mortified if someone told me so or suggested I am (or should be) depressed just because I need to lose some weight. If, however, she has gained this weight very quickly and seems to have OTHER symptoms of depression, she might actually have a thyroid disorder. Thyroid disorders can have very few symptoms but the two biggest are depression and rapid weight gain.

If this is her problem, a simple medication taken once per day can correct both the weight gain issues and the depression. Some of the more severe symptoms of thyroid problems that can cause weight gain are: Symptoms of Hypothyroidism * Fatigue * Weakness * Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight * Coarse, dry hair * Dry, rough pale skin * Hair loss * Cold intolerance (you can't tolerate cold temperatures like those around you) * Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches * Constipation * Depression * Irritability * Memory loss * Abnormal menstrual cycles * Decreased libido You can read more about the causes and symptoms here: http://www.endocrineweb.com/hypo1.html If the weight loss and depression seemed to come on about the same time, and she has any of these other symptoms, even mildly, she probably has a thyroid imbalance. Hypothyroidism can cause weight gain as much as 10 pounds per week, without changing the diet at all.It's estimated, according to MY doctor, to be underdiagnosed and that as many as 30% of the population might have at least a mild form of untreated and undiagnosed thyroid condition.

How to mention this to her is another conundrum altogether, but I think it's worth looking at the symptoms to see if it's something that might be her problem. If it is, it could really bring about a lot of relief to her if she thinks that there might be a reason for how she's feeling and her weight gain, and there might be a solution too. If, however, you don't think she has the symptoms of thyroid disorder, and you're worried she is depressed, I'd suggest talking to her about the depression and avoid the weight issue unless she brings it up herself.

Being overweight isn't the real problem if she's depressed. If the depression is treated, the weight can adjust itself. The depression is more important to discuss with her than her weight is, and discussing only the weight could actually make her more depressed.

Mostly, let her know you are there for her if she needs a friend... for whatever reason. That's what someone who is depressed needs the most: to know they are not alone.

I would perhaps ask if she's going through something that is causing her to be depressed and maybe mention the weight issue just to show your concern over her overall health.

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