I just got married to someone Im not in love with. Im having an affair with my highschool coach who I luv, what 2 do?

Use birth control. Whatever you do, a child will complicate things.

I am on b. C, but what should I do? Eva76 1 month ago .

1) Get out of the marriage. THat is bad news.2) I have the feeling that the affair with the coach will disappear - he will run away - once you have dumped the husband. He is with you now because you are not attainable.

You are a playtoy, and he doesn't see it as a permanent thing. Once you are 'available' he will scoot, because he will expect that you are going to want to marry him.3) After you are out of the marriage and the affair, DO NOTHING WITH ANYONE for a year. Get your head together.

By the way, Water Sports is a great subject category for this question.

IF you are 100% sure that you do not love the person, I would sit down with him and just explain that to him. He will probably be hurt as anyone would be ...but it is not fair to him or to you to be having an affair behind his back.

Idk why I went through with it, everything was moving fast and I wasnt being real w/ myself to be honest. Eva76 1 month ago .

And if he is being abusive...that is something I know all about, the time to get away from him is NOW ....do not worry about anything else...but also if he is an abusive person...you certainly do not want him to find out that you are cheating ..

I may be crazy, but I was thinking this way. I give it one last shot and if he lifts a finger again I can use that and speed out of the marriage like a train on fire. You know they say do it 1x, 2x,3x there will be many more times behind that.

I see him trying to hold his temper when we argue. And I don't try to push him to hit me. However im just waiting for it to happen 1 more time.

And you said you all to much about it. How long were you in an abusive relationship? Eva76 1 month ago .

I was married to my first husband for 8 months ...9 months too long ...it was very bad ...and I was raised in a Christian home where no one argued and I never knew that people were like that. My parents never told me that anyone would ever treat me that way and therefore I did not know what to do. If his Aunt had not helped me escape, he would have killed me ...never stay in an abusive relationship.

I would have left long before I did, but I was afraid and he had moved us far away from my parents and I was not allowed to use the phone unless he was on the other phone ..nor send mail or receive mail that he did not read....it was rough, but God was with me ...and I survived ..but it could have just as well gone the other way, please if you are serious and he is abusive, leave.

I don't know who is more screwed up in this relationship, but I bet I can find you a place on the Springer show. You need to 1) get a divorce.2) get some seriousl counselling before you do anything else.3) steer clear of your coach, unless you want to get him in trouble professionally and personally.4) If you had sex before you turned 18, and when you were a student, you really need to stay away, or he'll lose his job and could end up in prison and having to report as a sex offender. PS, if he was doing you as a minor, while he was married, and you don't see an issue with this, you really need to spend some serious time in step 2 above.

Actually, if you "just" got married and there are no children, step 1 would be get an annullment, not get a divorce. BTW, how old are you? .

Firstly, Im 27 and I just recently had this affair about 1 mth ago. While I was his athelet he had no clue about my feelings. Eva76 1 month ago .

Please ask questions before you assume. Eva76 1 month ago .

Well just do what your heart is telling you. Go with the guy that makes you happier.. you DO NOT wanna be with a guy that is controlling and domineering cuz it could turn into something much worst. You should not have got married cuz the parents wanted you to.

This is you life you live with the discusions not them.

Thanks! And I wanna be with the coach but I don't wanna rush into another relationship. I rather take my time and enjoy beign single for a while.

I really screwed up my dyam life Eva76 1 month ago .

Ahh its just a relationship, you didn't screw up your life! You should tell the coach you don't want to rush into anything. Think bout it this way alamony checks $$$$ if he got it of course!

Everything will be fine this is what you want so do it! .

If you don't love him, leave him. Especially if it was never there, you tried and it didn't work. Shame on you for cheating on your partner though.

If you don't want to be with guy #1, don't be with guy #1. If you want to be with Guy #2, don't stay with guy #1.No one is happy in that situation.

Guy #1 was always there, Guy # 1 also cheat so shame on him as well, but thats besides the point. There is no Guy #2 cause im not looking to replace Guy #1 as yet. I want out of a lavish marriage Eva76 1 month ago .

Don't mind me and my shame on you comment. I just will never understand staying with one person and being miserable while actively cheating. If it is a doomed relationship, leave!

With that said...Guy #2 in my scenario is the coach. If you want to see what comes of your coach, don't stick around with your husband. I think the common consensus is that you shouldn't stay with your husband regardless of your future decisions.

You made a mistake, now you should fix it so you can live and enjoy your life. If the man you have real feelings foe is your coach and he is on the market, try and see what happens. Better to make the attempt and fail than to wonder 20 years down the road if he was the one for you.

Good luck, I hope whatever choice you make is a good one that makes you happy.

So you get out as fast as you can. Abusive relationships are difficult so while he's at work, pack up and get out. File for divorce and never look back.

You are solving a problem the wrong way. 1) You made a promise to your husband. Realize that.2) Your husband made a promise to you.

And he has broken that promise. BUT breaking your promise in turn is NOT the way to handle that. 3) He has abandoned you (physical + emotional abuse) which I consider grounds for divorce (Jesus specified physical adultery, but later clarifications in the church include abandonment.) Thus, you should officially divorce him, obtain alimony (child support if relevant), and wait until the divorce is final before you get into any other relationship.

A divorce is unfortunately simple nowadays, involving paying the fees and then having someone who is not you hand your husband the paperwork and then testify that the person handed your husband the paperwork. He doesn't have to sign anything. Then file and wait.

Eva, don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. Going from one relationship to another is not a good idea. First, see if you qualify for an annulment which treats a marriage as if it never happened and from what you wrote it shouldn't have.

Next, you need to understand why you'd have let yourself be coerced into a marriage that you didn't want in the first place. Seek the assistance of a counselor and get to the root of that or you may find yourself repeating that behavior throughout your life. Finally, 9 years is not an overwhelming age difference between you and he given that you are 27, but, why the coach and such a strong connection?

You don't need to answer that here as it's a rhetorical question I'm asking in the hope you understand more from your own perspective what you want in a mate. Good luck.

I wouldn't get out of my marriage to be with him. I would get out to be alone first to enjoy my freedom. Im quiet sure I would see him, and spend time with him.

But I honestly would like to be single for a while. I've been married a year now. And doubt an annulment would be fit for me as 36,000.00 was spent on my wedding.As for why I got married.

I felt like it was the best thing to do regaurdless of the Physical abuse I "tried" to make it work and tried to stay in it. The last Physical fight was when I decided this can't be it for me. I always admired my coach as he brough the best out of me and someone I loved.

Now I do wish we can be together but im willing to take it slow and do it right. But I feel so thrown in the wind Eva76 1 month ago .

You really need to consider seeking the advice of a lawyer and getting a complete understanding of your options. If there's fraud in a marriage the timeframe would start from the date the fraud was discovered not from the date of the marriage. I'm not saying there was fraud, I'm only using that as an example.

Also, how much you spent on your wedding ceremony has nothing to do with whether or not you can have it annuled. If he is abusing you in a physical and emotional way you need to document that and get medical attention to corroborate any physical injury. It sounds like you are thinking this through and wanting to just be single for a while, good for you for taking control of your life.

Good luck. Peace, BosM .

They are not paid to judge, but to protect your interests. The coach? Who could know.

Always build relationships on mutual trust and respect, common interests, and of course, love.

My coach yes, and thanks again. He knows all about my relationship and I didn't want him to think because im not faithful to this guy, if with him I would do the same. I always had a special love for him and it's burning me that he's single and I cant do anything.

I really wanna be free to do as I please. Eva76 1 month ago .

And if he is being abusive...that is something I know all about, the time to get away from him is NOW ....do not worry about anything else...but also if he is an abusive person...you certainly do not want him to find out that you are cheating .. LglSec 52 months ago.

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