In order to get a restraining order, do I need anything specific? More info inside?

As morbid as it is Mahalo has a page on this, which even cites the webpage I was originally going to direct you to. Now IANAL, so obviously everything I say is suspect, and you should seek the immediate assistance of any local women's and victims groups in your area (I'll try and link a few)... Especially since your Ex sounds like he's dangerously near the line between violent words and violent deeds. You should also keep in mind that your state, Washington, is a Shall-Issue state with very permissive laws and concealed carry doesn't necessarily mean just firearms.

The biggest issue in terms of what you'll have to do is whether you get a civil or criminal restraining order as that sets the degree to which you the accuser must prove you deserve a restraining order against the other person. Civil court ranges from a "preponderance of the evidence" to "clear and convincing" while criminal court always requires proof "beyond a reasonable doubt". From there there's also the difference between a Civil Anti-Harassment Order and a Domestic Violence Order for Protection.

Washington legally defines Domestic Violence for the purposes of this order as including physical harm, stalking, and "making you fear immediate physical harm, bodily injury or assault. " (RCWA 26.50.010(1)) so since he's an Ex of yours you may well qualify for that as well. This is something to ask a qualified professional, obviously, as it can make an enormous difference in how everything plays out as well as the significance of the order and any violations of it.

Unfortunately I can't help you more with that since IANAL (I am not a lawyer) and I'm on the opposite side of the continent. A lot of what you require can only safely be answered by someone in your system and registered over there, the bright side is this is where victim help groups specialize. With those generalities out of the way here's your specific questions: What do I need in order to get the restraining order (money, evidence of harassment and so on).

Money is involved insofar as court fees and any lawyer you hire. Evidence is going to be number one. Anything that PROVES he is harassing you and threatening you can not only help greatly with getting a civil restraining order (Order of Protection) but possibly push it into criminal territory as well at which point the state may choose to get involved.

The two are NOT mutually exclusive, one of my professors once gave us an example of a man who was not found guilty in a criminal trial but still lost a civil suit against him for the same thing. How long does it take to process the restraining order (just an estimated time...unless a website gives an exact time). Only someone involved in your state's system or familiar with it could answer this, it may well be dependant on who was working that day.

Does he need to sign it or be in compliance? If yes how do I get around that? I don't know this, but I'm willing to bet that given the nature of the issue it's probably one of those things that the court compells him to obey whether he signs it or not.

The real issue will probably be notice, which varies from county to county and here in florida is virtually always handled by third parties. The Ex Parte protection order for example can be served to him by either mail or publication (think classifieds). If he decides to damage the property or our vehicles at night when we are asleep and he has threatened that before will the police be able to do anything?

Absolutely! If a criminal smashes up your car in the night would the police do anything about it? That he's threatened to do so before just gives them the chance to say it was premeditated.

This is openly a crime, as is the harassment and threatening, just because he was in a relationship with you does NOT give him special privileges to abuse you. How long can the restraining order be in effect? Is there an option for a lifetime?

I believe this is set on a case by case basis by the court, and while I'm unsure if there could be a maximum in the state statutes there may be mandatory minimums if you get a domestic violence order of protection rather than a civil anti-harassment order. I'm actually digging through the washington state statutes right now for this so I may add a comment later if I can find it. All I've been able to find so far is that the Ex Parte, that is the immediate "got it that day without him being there" emergency order can't be more than 14-24 days based on when the court can hold a full hearing and how the notice was sent (mail or publication).

Does this go on his permanent record? Would it go on mine? Possibly, especially if he ever does anything violent.

Whether it would go on yours I don't know, but even if it did it's not a negative reflection on you to have an order by the court protecting you from someone else. Additionally here's a group that should be able to help you with everything from legal advocacy to someone to talk to as well as the domestic violence hotline: http://www.wscadv.org/ - The Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence 800-562-6025 - Washington State Domestic Violence Hotline Don't let anyone convince you that it's your fault, or that because he's your Ex and not a current relationship that it isn't "really" domestic violence.

I don't know the laws in your state, but in FL, you have to have reported his threats to the police to get a restraining order. Three threats is stalking. Recording of threatening calls without his permission is allowable in a court of law.

If you report to the police that he has threatened to hurt your car, then you may be able to prosecute if it actually happens. You can also ask the police to Baker Act him. That will get him locked up for 72 hours, during which time you can get your restraining order.

You say he's your "ex" so I don't know if you're married to him, but if you are still legally married, you can Baker Act him yourself, without the police. Baker Acting him may be the best thing, as he will get some help he obviously needs.

Shadowx3 did a pretty good job of answering your question, so I only want to give you some advice. I live in Arkansas, so your experience in Washington may be a bit different, but I'm guessing it's pretty similar. You need to start filing police reports.

They come in handy in court and with good police officers they may get him to see the light and leave you alone. Threats of this type are also considered terroristic threatening and he could be charged. Getting a restraining order here is pretty easy, especially the type where you agree to stay away from each other.

They are standard in divorces here, but I bet you could get one without an attorney. The problem with restraining orders is that police don't take them too seriously. But, you must have one in order to file for an Order of Protection.

I did this by asking for the form in the county courthouse, filled it out, was ushered back to the judge who asked a few questions and set a court date. If he doesn't show up, he'll be considered guilty. Once you have the order of protection the police take that MUCH more seriously.

He won't even be able to call you much less be close enough to you physically for you to hear his crap :) It is such a serious thing, for me it stopped the problem entirely. It will not go on your record. It will go on his but not the criminal type exactly.

It will limit or prevent him in purchasing a firearm while it is in effect, probably a good thing!

I am in Michigan so I am not sure just how it goes in WA, but here in Michigan you need to have some kind of proof, dates mainly of what took place. In Michigan you have to have 3 occasions of him doing something or stalking, calling, harrsing whatever. He does not have to sign anything just you.

It only takes I believe between 3 and 5 working days so it does not take long. As far as the life span of the order I am really not sure. You can find all this out by calling your court house.

They will be able to tell you just what to do. As far as if he does damage to any of your property you will have to have proof it was him. The cost here is like 35.00 to get one but well worth it.

Be Safe flickr.com/photos/d40noob/3448692799.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.