By default, it will always start iTunes and sync when you connect up to your computer. You can change this by clicking on your iPhone in the iTunes devices list and then checking the relevant box about how you want syncing to happen. If you have already checked those options then it's a bug, and I can't help you.
You need to go into iTunes on the mac, and go to iTunes -> Preferences (or Command + comma) and then click on Devices, then check "Prevent iPods and iPhones from syncing automatically.
There is no problem here, every iPod that syncs does this as soon as they are connected to iTunes. I suggest making changes, etc. Before plugging in your iPhone to use this to your advantage. This feature was implemented because many people make changes without access to their iPod/Phone at the moment, but as soon as they can plug it in, it syncs for them.
Convenience. There should also be a setting in iTunes (location depends on the version you are using) where you can turn this setting off. Go to: iTunes -> Preferences (or Command + comma) -> Devices, then uncheck Prevent iPods/iPhones from syncing automatically.
Good Luck.
I have some trouble syncing with itunes. It starts and the "Sync in progress" screen goes away. Eventually iTunes says the device has turned off.
This morning with a full charge it worked fine. Safari needs flash.
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