Is it normal for a son to dispize a father. father called him an idiot for a stupid act which would have distroyed him?

Is it normal for a son to dispize a father. Father called him an idiot for a stupid act which would have distroyed him. My son who is 34yrs told me he intended to hatch a plan to sue his employer.

He had taken the advise of a no win no pay lawyer. All good so far! Exept I knew the incident did not happen at his work.My son refused to listen to my view.

I called him an idiot! S last words to me were "you,ll appoligise for that" That was 3yreas ago. Since then he has meeet a girl had a baby and told friends that I will never see his children s mother and I have been divorced for about 25years and I am married again with 2 young kids.

My son and I have always had a good relationship. Needless to say my ex-wife loves all of this. I,ve always done an honest days work for a dollar I have not been able to give all of my kids what other perants have given their kids.

My ex wife got the family home and I got all of the outstanding unpaid bank cards etc I was happy about it all because it was easier for me to get back to a reasonable financial position then it would be for my ex. Asked by noonoo373 24 months ago Similar questions: normal son dispize father called idiot stupid act distroyed Lifestyle > Relationships.

Similar questions: normal son dispize father called idiot stupid act distroyed.

Some ideas and advice... You take the high road and you can look yourself in the mirror every mornining and smile. There is a lot to be said for that. You also gave the best advice you could as a father.In retrospect I would have said, "Son the idea is idiotic and unethical... wrong!

" But not that your son is idiotic. It is easy to get confused and attack the person instead of the idea. But all in all you did what was right.

So your relationship with him has suffered and you are being excluded from the family to a degree. If you had been a corrupt and unethical individuall you think you would be fine... you relationship with your son and his family would be a good one. I don't think so... you would have paid a high price and you would keep on paying and you wouldn't be true or honest with yoursel so you would have to take all the mirrors out of your house I think... (figuratively).

You don't know what other unethical scams your son has hatched since and what may come back on him in the future in terms of mayby "fraud charges" or some negative. I don't belive people do these sort of things for long without getting some negatives out of it and what you are telling us here is that he has a serious personality flaw. Even in "black balling" you from family members indicates a personality flaw.

Here is what I would do... I would write him a letter telling him that though the idea was an idiotic one and you stand by that as an honest assessment that you made at the time to guide him as his father. You didn't mean to call him an idiot... you take that back. You didn't intend to personally attack him and apologize for that.

Then you are giving something into a compromise that may open doors and you are not corrupting yourself. Tell him how you long to have a normal relationship with him and his family and your grandkids. Then leave it at that... at least then you have done everything humanly possible and the ball is in his court.

If he continues then there is nothing you can do and you have given it your best shot. Then go on and make your own separate happiness and keep smiling in the mirror. You don't need them to be happy.

You can't pick family... you can pick friends. But family can poison you with negativity, corruption, etc.As well. You may not be able to cut them out of your life but you can reduce your exposure to them if that is the case.

My wife just found out I set up our phone to block calls from her Opiate addict brother. She could still get his calls on her cell but the fact that I blocked his calls make it harder for him to contact us (generally to squeeze us for drug money). I thought I would have trouble explaining my action and the fact I kept it from her.

I was doing the best I could for my family and trying to isolate us just a bit more from corruption and bad things... she understood completely and totally though she probably at the time didn't have the courage to "block his calls" she was grateful I did. If things turn around and you develop a close relationship with your son and family... without giving up or moral standing... you might find that you wish you hadn't even. Once your kids are 18... they are on their own.

They are adults... fully made persons. You wll alwasy love him but you don't necessarily have to have them in your life if they are going to bring poison into it. Just a thought.

There is much more going on here than with any lawsuit. The real issue is that the mom was working behind the dad's back to reduce his authority (and so augment hers. ) Damage done.

The only thing you can do is wait for the children to grow up, mature, obtain wisdom, and see what really happened. This takes decades of perspective to be able to see because humans are hypermetropic: we are so "farsighted" that we cannot see what is near us. This is why we need God in our lives: s view of clarity is the one we should be operating on.

Meanwhile, the only way we humans can see this in our lives is to see it from 20 or 30 years later: "Yeah, I was kind of a jerk, huh? " Or, as Mark Twain said, “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.” .

This is very sad... I feel for you as any parent would. You are obviously very upset and wish you could right a wrong. The emotions are still with you.

I would say that the end of the marriage has also caused sounds that are still evident. You feel you have done the best for your family and I am sure you half. You must be sure as well.

I think that you should sort yourself out first before thinking of contacting your son. You are still very emotional and upset. This may mar any resolution.

I would personally see a counselor or talk to someone you can trust and who will listen to you and not try to give advise. Expressing your deep emotional upsets helps to heal and process them appropriately. Then I would seek a reconciliation with your son.

Perhaps a written letter to him expressing your concerns and feelings and an apology for what you said. Tell him you love him and want to have him back in the family. Be honest and express how you feel.

Make it short and sweet and personal. Relationships are never easy and either is parenting. We all make errors of judgment.

I see them not as mistakes but as lessons. Our lives are a process of learning, feelings, experiencing what it is like to be human and all that goes with it. So start slowly and get yourself on a level playing field before you commence any contact.

Perhaps write first to break down the barriers. Then arrange to meet where there is no stress and get him to sit and talk about your and his feelings. Let him express what he has to say and just listen!

He will feel better. Do not try to argue or explain why until you have both expressed your issues. Emotions don't care about logic.

Deal with the emotions. Best wishes... Sources: Study.

One way around it.. been there, on the receiving end. My father never did praise us, like almost never, so anything he did say against us we remembered. One way around it is to not make it so personal.

Instead of "You're an idiot", try something less personal like "That would be an idiotic thing for someone to to do". Or in this case, you could have made it even less personal by making it a question: saying "But is it a good and right and fair thing to do? ".

I suggest if you can, apologize. Not having contact with your son is not worth your "being right". He probably feels badly too..

Unfortunately yes. The fact that you are/were absolutely correct, and that it was a stupid thing for him to do, should be something for him to think about. You may find that your ex has fanned the fires here, and made more of it than it is.

I think that he'll come around eventually.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.