Check out the various answers to a similar question:mahalo.com/answers/apple/mac-music-serve... are software solutions like TuneRanger or work-around solutions based on sharing the library or setting up a media server. You are probably right by anticipating problems when changing your working configuration. :-) However, synchronizing your iTunes library is possible.
I don't know how much of an anti-microsoft person you are, but here's an option that works fairly well and actually has more than one use. Try Microsoft's Live Mesh service. You mentioned that you have a network, so it makes sense to keep the actual mp3 and aac files on there, but for synchronizing the xml database file try Live Mesh.
You don't have to move the xml file or anything, it just keeps an updated copy on each computer. The files stay in the same place. Better yet, you have 5GB to play with, meaning you can sync all of your files between all of your computers.
Just a thought. I've used it, so I know it's fairly reliable. And this is a step up from dropbox, since your files can be anywhere on your computer.
If you consider an iPod a Mac, then you can get two iPods and add it to one iPod and share it to the other with a device such as miShare. Check out miShare, it's pretty neat, and it might be able to help you in some way. I believe they may be coming out with a product that does what you're looking for more efficiently as well.
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