Midlife and marital relationships?

Midlife and marital relationships I know I'm not alone. I've seen others trying really hard to renegotiate relationships of long duration. My question really is about the normalcy of this.Do we reach a point in age (55 to 65) where we are no longer happy in our circumstances?

Why? What changed? It could be husband or wife or boy friend or girl friend.

I don't think it's gender based. The behavior is fairly consistent. What seems like all of sudden one of the two gets cranky, critical and murmuring things about leaving.

The other person just cant do anything right! I really don't think it has anything to do with there being another person in the picture either. I can state this though....... it's wearing me down to the point of not caring what happens anymore.

Asked by Anonymous 28 months ago Similar questions: Midlife marital relationships Lifestyle > Relationships.

It takes two. Unfortunately, too many people find an acceptable sex life and think that it is love. When the distraction of the kids is gone, they admit that they don't like each other and go their separate ways; looking for greener pastures.

If two people don't grow together, they grow apart. If you don't care enough about him to fight with him, it is time for find someone who cares enough to fight with you. And URL1 marriage is better than a bad marriage.

The way to prevent middle aged divorce is to marry someone you really like, not someone who just tickles your fancy. So get in his / her face and lay out the facts. Life is too short to spend it being miserable.

Do you want to be married or just be. Fight with me or hit the road. But you gotta fight fair.

If you don't want to fight fair, hit the road. Don't mess with what was or wasn't. Work on what the present holds.

Whenever my wife and I get into it, she usually gets historical on me. That ain't got nothing to do with today's problem. That's not fair.

Let bygones be bygones. Live for today..

The answer to your question is YES... It happened to me at about age 49, but I married at age 19. All of a sudden I realized that 30 years had passed and nothing was turning out the way I thought it would. I had put in 30 years of hard work, raising 2 children that were now on their own and I wanted to travel, accomplish some things I had always wanted to do, relax and enjoy life now that we were free of responsibility.

But, it wasn't working out that way at all. I wanted to go to England and my husband refused. We bought a new house but my husband hated it.

He started to pick at me - about my hairdo, clothes, didn't want to visit my sister or brother because they lived a distance and many more LITTLE things that added up. I was lucky in that I found help in the form of a chance session with the group: Adult Children of Alcoholics. That put me in touch with a counselor that I was to see for many more sessions.

I had many issues - dating back to when I was a child in a dysfunctional family and I had read a lot of self-help books but this was different. I suddenly felt as if my life was coming apart. I couldn't sleep, I was feeling victimized by my mother who was calling me everyday and sending me letters and generally abusing me.

I needed support but my husband wasn't giving me any support! That was one of the reasons I married him - because I believed he would protect me. The long and the short of it is that we eventually went to marriage counseling after I told him I would leave him if he didn't (and I meant it).

We talked and talked sometimes all night, but we made it through that difficult period after a couple of years. We're still together (48 years) and much happier. So yes, I went through it and it was hard, very hard for a while, but it was worth it..

I cant say that it is a matter of not being happy, but it is a time when we seem to take stock of our lives and sometimes find that our dreams have not come true, we may have regrets, we are bored ... and nothing is like it was when we were younger. I believe that many people experience it. What would we want if 'we left'?

Sometimes we take that out on each other, in a way blaming the other for the state we find ourselves in. All relationships change - that means all the sparks, bells, and whistles of earlier years may be gone. We may just be worn out.

We may have physical worries or fears about our lives coming to an end. This all makes us feel 'unhappy' - it is hard to pick ourselves up at that point - we may even experience depression. The first step for us is to be sure we are in good health and continue taking steps to be healthy.

I think that we need to renew our interest in life, for ourselves, so that we can bring more energy to the relationship. This is important for each person to work on in the relationship. It to me is really about having a makeover on ourselves that will affect our relationship and our lives forward.

We get in ruts - ruts are boring and dull. We get lazy - we don't challenge ourselves as we used to. 'Change the channel' in our everyday life- it helps everyone in the relationship if each does it.

Get a new lease on life and the relationship will perk up too..

You promised to love, honor and cherish (I wasn't there, so I'm guessing the actual wording of your vows.) Therefore, your work should be oriented towards loving (making happy) that other person. When you really do that, the rest that you want will follow. "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:21-22, 25). First, God says that each spouse is to submit to the other.

THEN the wife to the husband, BUT the husband is to love the wife. And that "love" is "agapao" the self-giving love that God has for each of us. Consider which is easier: submitting to a superior officer or loving the lower-ranked officer?

I'd say the women have it easy on this one. But if you're doing this that God tells you to do, you will find the wife responding likewise. "And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18)..

1 Oh boy, can I relate! I am right there with you. If I can do ANYTHING right, I don't know what it is.

One thing good is happening to me though. I am beginning to form a plan - no, it's not murder! I am looking into what the financial situation would be, how I could live, etc.- I think the hardest part, at an older age, and especially now, with the economy the way it is, would be finding a job.

For a long time I was very sad, now I am starting to feel angry, which is actually better, at least for me. We went to one counseling session with a woman who seemed nuttier than a fruitcake to me. Within a half an hour she told me our problems stemmed from MY depression, and that I should be on medication.

I already KNEW I was depressed for God's sake, I was the one who told her - but she didn't even ask WHY. I'm still not exactly certain what will happen, but I am beginning not to care, which makes it easier. I will be allright, and so will you.

My advice is to really look into your financial situation, find out what you will be entitled to, and how you will be able to live. If you think couseling may work, then by all means try it. I don't think it's going to work for us, but who knows.

Maybe one more time to see if it will actually do any good. Good luck - start making that plan.

Oh boy, can I relate! I am right there with you. If I can do ANYTHING right, I don't know what it is.

One thing good is happening to me though. I am beginning to form a plan - no, it's not murder! I am looking into what the financial situation would be, how I could live, etc.- I think the hardest part, at an older age, and especially now, with the economy the way it is, would be finding a job.

For a long time I was very sad, now I am starting to feel angry, which is actually better, at least for me. We went to one counseling session with a woman who seemed nuttier than a fruitcake to me. Within a half an hour she told me our problems stemmed from MY depression, and that I should be on medication.

I already KNEW I was depressed for God's sake, I was the one who told her - but she didn't even ask WHY. I'm still not exactly certain what will happen, but I am beginning not to care, which makes it easier. I will be allright, and so will you.

My advice is to really look into your financial situation, find out what you will be entitled to, and how you will be able to live. If you think couseling may work, then by all means try it. I don't think it's going to work for us, but who knows.

Maybe one more time to see if it will actually do any good. Good luck - start making that plan.

" "Afraid of getting into close relationships with other people. " "Why do Young People have Difficulty in Relationships?" "In Between relationships, what do you miss the most? " "Open marriages and relationships...if you know of someone who is or has been in one...

Afraid of getting into close relationships with other people.

Open marriages and relationships...if you know of someone who is or has been in one...

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.