My best friends daughter uses and verbally abuses her all the time, I want to tactfully step in, any advice?

From what you've described here, her behavior is in many ways symptomatic of Asperger's. My 12-year-old cousin has Asperger's, and he's also bright for his age, has detached emotions, a lack of empathy, difficulty making direct eye contact, and takes things very literally. He will obey direct orders from someone he clearly understands to be an authority figure such as a parent or a teacher, but not from other adults.

For example, he was in the habit of dribbling a basketball up and down the hallway outside of my room and refused to stop when I asked him to, but immediately obeyed when my dad told him to stop. His mother had established my dad as an authority figure, but not me. Kids with Asperger's aren't "bad;" they just have unique needs and mannerisms.

Since this girl is of school-aged and has presumably been treated by a pediatrician, it's odd that a teacher or doctor hasn't brought this up to your friends. I would tread very gently. Parents are naturally defensive of their children, and you don't want your friend to perceive what you're telling her as being a criticism of her child or her parenting.

I would mention something in a mild way about the girl's behavior when something specific happens. Hopefully this will encourage your friend to speak with her pediatrician and teachers and get a correct diagnosis. Edit: The punishments are probably ineffective and inappropriate, but your friend is probably giving them with the hope they'll help her daughter.

Like I wrote above, kids with autism require very unique parenting skills and most parents have to learn them. I have no idea if this girl actually has Asperger's, but she most likely has something that is causing her atypical behavior, and it's not her fault. She does need consequences for misbehavior, but only when she clearly understands that her behavior is wrong.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/asperge...

This is unbelievable but entirely possible.. She MAY be psychopathic or sociopathic. She may have a personality disorder. Psycopathy shows few emotion in death and grieving.

At THAT young of an age, she could already be showing premature signs of the illness, which results in the SMALL clues she has been giving off, including very bad disobayince that has a consequence of HURTING herself and her FAMILY. I know it's not the greatest to tell her mother that, but it will continue to grow even worse if she isn't treated fast. Explain to her mother that it is an ILLNESS, it it will be unhealthy to herself and others if she isn't treated.

It could be something else, but tell someone. Do not tell the child. She won't understand inevitably.

Maybe (this may be silly but..) look up ways to spot a psychopath questions or activities, and if she passes them than use that against the mother. They will not respond to any punishment (do you see that already?) and only have happiness and joy during activities and actions in which Only benefits themselves. ONLY.

Does she show happiness in giving her mother presents? Have her sit down and make bracelets with you an then at the end, tell her if she wants to give it to her mother. Observe.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.