Please check my composition in English about fitness centre updaed Thank you everybody for your help?

You have a typo in the 2nd paragraph, it should be to, not tj In the 2nd paragraph, it should be 'connected with THE exercise MACHINES Also, I would say problems, not shortfalls. It makes more sense this way The first sentence of the 4th paragraph doesn't make sense: 'According to the announcement on the boarding. ' No idea what that means Also it is not very good English when you say 'no excercise bikes have appeared instead of old ones'.

You could say 'The excercise bikes have not been replaced It should also be, 'the coach that trained me QUIT his job You may want to put a full stop after 'next visit' and start the new sentence 'I am still If the name is supposed to be the actor, Brad Pitt, it is BRAD, not Bred Apart from that its fine! I hope this helps. :).

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.