Should friends expect you to pay their way simply because you make a lot more money than they do?

First off, it is unbelievably kind of you to pay their way to the expensive events or dinners. I think that speaks loads about your character! Well done!

I understand that it is the decent thing to do when you invited them and really want their company but know that they cannot reasonably afford the tab. That situation is a matter all its own and you are right to pay their way in that instance. On the other hand, when going out for easily affordable meals or movies, it is not your job to pay their way.

There is usually only one sure way to handle this situation; through out-right, kind-hearted honesty. At some point, you need to sit down and have a calm discussion with your friends letting them know that you feel that in certain situations you feel like they are taking advantage of you. Make it clear that you understand that they don't make as much money as they do and that you are more than happy to pay their way during expensive evenings when you've invited them.

But you don't feel as though you should pay their way when y'all are doing things you know they can afford themselves. Let them know you are just trying to be honest with them because you don't want to end up resenting them. It's not your fault at all!

It's a mentality among people who don't make much money that if you happily treat them to the expensive stuff, then the cheap stuff should be a cinch and no problem at all. You have to nip this in the butt as soon as possible because it's little things like that could drive you away and tend to not want to spend time with them. Talk to them and be honest.

Make sure they know you're not trying to be rude, but if they can afford it, they should pay their way. Just because you make more money than them does not mean you have to feel obligated to pay for everything all the time. You work very hard for your money and you deserve to spend some of it on yourself rather than on your friends just so you'll have company when going out.

I will warn you to be weary of excuses for why they can't pay their own way once you've had a conversation with them. They may not know what they're doing, but basically their excuses will make you feel guilted into paying. Be careful of this.

Hopefully your friends won't do that to you, but I've had friends do it to me and I can tell you that it is worse than where you are now. If you ever feel guilted into paying, tell them immediately and do not pay their way even once. If you let it happen once, it'll happen time and time again.

All you have to say is "I'm sorry but we agreed to each pay our own way and I only brought enough to cover myself. " And no matter what, stick to it.

I would have to question whether these people are true friends or just like to hang out with you and your wallet. One of the joys of having money is being able to spend it on other people, but your friends are definitely taking advantage of you, and true friends don't treat each other that way. You are blessed with a generous spirit but that doesn't mean you have to feel obligated to pay every time.

We can't be taken advantage of by others unless we let them do so! Tell your "friends" how you feel, that you'll continue to pay when you invite them out, but if you all agree to stop at a fast-food restaurant then you expect them to pay their own tabs. If they become offended, then maybe it's time to get some new friends.

I'm in the same situation as you, but any time I pay for someone I make sure they know it's an exception. If people start to expect it, it's a slippery slope. I once talked to someone who admitted to spending a couple of thousand dollars a month on other people.

He would just get the bill for everyone at the table (tables of up to 10), and would do this 2-5 times a week. I hate to say it, but I do think you're being taken advantage of. I wouldn't say it's necessarily your fault though, as once someone gets the wrong impression it's really uncomfortable to break it.

I think the best way to get someone to pay for themselves is simply to say "I'll get the next one" when the bill comes. If you've picked up the last two, it's going to be hard for them to say no.

Nobody, especially a friend, should expect something for free from someone else unless it is freely offered. In your description, it is possible your generous nature gave the impression that you WANT to pick up the tab for everything. People sometimes defer to the person who volunteers to pick up the tab, especially for small things.It is possible that they are not consciously trying to mooch so much as being lazy and acting on a bad habit.

If you are wealthy by comparison, it might seem awkward to your friend to hand you $5 for a burger as if you needed the money, especially if you just took them to a $120 dinner the previous night. It is also possible your friends are deliberately mooching, but I can't judge their intent based on the brief question.(Whatever the reason, it is still poor manners on your friends' parts.) If you want to break the cycle, there is an easy non-confrontational way to handle it: When you want to pay, tell them before you go somewhere that you would like to treat them to this specific activity. If you are precise, this already sets up the possibility that you don't normally want to pay, but you do for this specific occasion.

When you don't want to pay, do any of the following: * Ask for separate checks before ordering so that your dining companion knows they have to pay for their own order (I wouldn't do this habitually as it annoys wait staff, but a couple of times with the right person will send them a message) * If in a casual environment, such as at a burger counter or ticket stand, order separately. If you get to the counter first, order something for yourself and pay for it, your companion will then be left with no choice but to do the same. Guys do this with each other all of the time without even thinking about it.

* At the end of a shared expense, look over the bill, add cash to pay for your part and then pass the bill and money to your companions for them to add their contribution. * At the end of a shared expense, look over the bill and divide the cost by the number of people and announce, "I think it comes to $X per person" and then add your contribution and hand the bill to the next person. In my experience, the above behaviors are commonly used by everyone I come into contact with.

Thus, if you do the same it will not be the first time your friends have encountered such behavior so it shouldn't be a big deal to them. I have a friend who is far wealthier than I, yet I always pay my own way unless he tells me upfront that he wants to get the bill. Just the other day I picked up the tab for a cheap lunch to return the favor for him doing the same thing a couple of weeks ago.

It's more about mutual courtesy than money. I've also used the above tips with friends and relatives who make much less than me, and have found that I can easily control when/if I pay for others without it ever becoming an issue worthy of discussion.

Hell no. It isn't your fault that they make less. I hate that attitude.As one commenter mentioned, are these folks really your friends?

Time for some personal accountability, folks!

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