Someone I know attempted suicide, after she started to drink again. I'm not sure she knows that I know?

Someone I know attempted suicide, after she started to drink again. I'm not sure she knows that I know. Should I bring it up and talk to her?

I'd like to be able to help her, but I know that she puts on an act like she's just fine. I don't know much about alcoholism, obviously. Asked by quandryhere 58 months ago Similar questions: attempted suicide started drink Health > Mental Health.

Similar questions: attempted suicide started drink.

Sure, you should bring it up with her. It is natural to hesitate to bring up such a dramatic topic with somebody, but it is the best thing you can do. But a lot depends on how close you are already.

If you are friends and are a little close, you can say something like, " you know I care for you, right? So I want to know if you are still feeling suicidal. " Don't freak out, or tell her to just get over it, or try to take her mind off it.

Just listen to whatever she says. (I will just assume she is female. ) If you aren't great friends, it might take a little strategic thinking.Do you want to be friends with her?

If you don't, but still don't want her to hurt herself, then it is delicate. You have to become a different kind of friend, not buddies exactly. Checking up on her might become a kind of routine, matter-of-fact thing for you, the way neighbors might check up on an elderly lady.

You can say, " I know we aren't all that close, and I don't want to get all in your business, but is it okay if I just check up on you once in a while, see how you are doing? " There is kind of a myth that talking about suicide with somebody can sort of "trigger" them into committing suicide. That isn't true.

They have likely been thinking about it for a long time, and are often ambivalent about it. What they really want is an end to the pain, loneliness, shame, or whatever. Once you have opened the subject, then you can begin to help in some way.

If it would be right for your relationship, you can ask her promise to promise you that if she ever feels that way again, she will call you before she does anything rash. She will probably feel reassured, and so will you. Also, you can suggest she call a suicide hot line.

They are often staffed by people who were suicidal at one point themselves, and they are very good at what they do. You can check out suicidehotlines.com/ (no "www") for a list of hotlines. There are also web support groups.

If you want, you can suggest you make the call with her. You can also call yourself, and get a little support for yourself, believe it or not. Having a friend who is suicidal isn't always easy.

Another helpful thing is to just have her come with you on little outings, like taking a walk around the block, or going grocery shopping. It especially helps if it becomes a routine. You have to be a little steady and reliable in your own life for this.

In fact, if you aren't in a fairly good spot, don't even think about helping her, unless she can be a support for you too. If you have a dog, you can take the dog with you on your outings. Supposedly dogs are even better than people that way.

Here are some further tips on talking about suicide with your friends. It is sort of aimed at kids, but it still works for adults. Here and here are some information.

Lastly, she has some underlying issues, possibly depression, possibly alcoholism, that need to be dealt with. Suggest that she talk to her doctor about it. There are lots of ways to treat both of those.

If medication would be helpful, she can decide to take it, or not. If she is reluctant to get help, you might remind her that she tried to commit suicide, for heaven's sake, that she spends all day alone, that she never sees any friends, that she is lonely and unhappy, as the case may be. Alcoholism can throw a kind of wrench into the entire thing.

Alcoholics can be harder to deal with. They might accuse you of judging them, or meddling in their business, or some other nonsense. If that happens, don't be hurt or angry.

It is best to think of their addiction as distorting their personalities, so they aren't really themselves. Some people are really resistant to the idea that they might be mentally ill.So here is a partial list of famous people who suffered from depression or bipolar disorder (which is related. ) Here is another.

Some people on the list are surprising.(Marie Osmond! Terry Bradshaw! ) She might be interested in looking at the list.

Hope this helps! Take care of yourself! .

She will in all likelihood try it again Yes, you should try to help her, but only if you can really provide help. You could embarrass her and push her over the edge. So I would suggest an indirect approach.

Make sure your friend knows you're there for her and offer her any kind of support she needs. Don't bring up the subject of suicide, but tell her you're worried about her drinking. And tell her you'd like her to stop.

But don't be too pushy, or you might make things worse. I'd highly recommend you visit an alcoholic's anonymous meeting, or possibly go see a psychologist or counselor who will give you some advice on how to handle this situation. Suicide is serious business, and if you really want to help your friend you have to be sure you know what you're doing.

Good luck! Sources: My Opinion .

Support as opposed to Help** It's tough to have a friend who relies upon alcohol to get her through. And unfortunately alcohol is a depressant that works upon the 'judgment' part of the brain--so it NEVER helps a problem. **Yes, I would tell my friend that I know about her suicide attempt.

That gets the huge 'white elephant' that everyone is stepping around in the room out of the way. At least she knows you know--which opens the door for discussion. Keeping the secret won't help the person.

**She may react by downplaying of denying--it's common with alcoholics not saying she is one, just one in the making They have a great ability to deny. And if she does, just remain quiet--no arguing the point will get it through to her. **Listen.

Neither downplay her attempt it'll be better tomorrow nor lecture or 'down' her. **Tell her you care about her and are concerned. Tell her you'll take her to get help if she needs it and perhaps hand her a 'hot line' number that she can call and talk to.

She doesn't need just you to talk to--that's still keeping it secret--always encourage her to enlarge her circle of support. **Know that you are NOT responsible if they do hurt or kill themselves. Keep yourself healthy while trying to help your friend.

**Then walk away and if your choose, remain available. But the choice is hers. Sources: From my heroin and alcohol addicted parents...I learned a lot .

Alcoholism with depression are killer combinations... I am not an expert on either alcoholism nor depression but it sounds like your friend have some problems... You can ask your friends a couple of questions just to test out if she's really addicted to alcohol: 1. Do you feel like you want to cut down on drinking? 2.Do you feel annoyed by other people talking about you drinking?

3. Do you feel guilty of drinking?4. Do you need a eye opener (wake up and have to take a drink to get the day started)?

If she answered YES on most of the questions, then your friend may be addicted to alcohol. I would suggest about brining the subject up casually... and just said that you were curious/concern of her situutation. Following, you can then bring up that you saw/thought/noticed her injuring herself after she had alcohol... does she know about it?

(Some people may do things under the influence of alcohol and not a conscious act) If it is a conscious act meaning that she knows that she want to kill herself then you can bring up that you care about her a lot and ask her if she have a safe plan when she wants to hurt herself again... Safe plan meaning to call 911 or you (or another friend) or anyone that will help her when she feels really down... and take her to see a doctor, AAA (alcoholic anonymous), church or some support group. The main thing is that if you sound sincere and caring, I doubt that you're friend will take it the wrong way. Ask your doctor for more information.

Crystal .

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