TASK: Transcribe Kevin Pollak's Interview with Jim Gaffigan?

(intro) Kevin Pollak: My first guest I saw on David Letterman, I believe, the first time. It might have been Conan O’Brien, one of those two. I’ll have him clear that up for us.It was one of those things, where as a stand-up my whole life, literally since the age of 10, my spider-senses tingle when someone just hits it so far you’ll never find the ball.

Letterman thought so much of this gentleman that he decided to build a TV show around him, as he had for Ray Romano. Then, as time went on, I saw him on Conan O’Brien. He had become so familiar with Conan that there was suddenly an animated series starring the two of them called Pale Force, I believe.

It just completely and utterly blew my mind. So when this show started to come together, and I started to put together my wishlist, this gentleman was one of the 1st ten names, I’ll have you know. I’ll have *him* know, as he’s sitting here now because I admire someone who can stand on that stage alone and let their thoughts come forth and take the audience for a ride of their choosing for an hour and 90 minutes, whatever they do.

I understand the ebb and flow and what it takes to craft that. And this guy’s so prolific that it’s evolving, every year it seems to be a whole new act. We’ll get into that.

Please welcome, Mr. Jim Gaffigan. Jim Gaffigan: Thanks Kevin.KP: Thank you so much for being here! (applause) That’s the crew!

They love him. JG: Thank you. They’ve got good taste.

KP: Now, I’ll give you what I promise to give every guest. JG: OK. KP: An opportunity throughout our interview to work on the following because, at the end of the interview, I’m going to ask you to do this.

JG: OK.KP: It’s called the “Larry King Game. € JG: laughing OK? KP: All right?

It’s uh…it’s a parting gift, a home game you can play with your friends. It helps to be slightly intoxicated; I’m not going to lie to you. JG: All right.KP: The premise of the “Larry King Game” is this.

Larry King, God Bless him, he’s 102. JG: Yeah.KP: Hell of a career. But so… it’s my belief that it’s only a matter of time before he accidentally shares something about himself on the air that perhaps he shouldn’t.

JG: Yes.KP: So when it’s your turn to play the “Larry King Game,” you must do a bad Larry King impression. That’s kind of the good news. JG: OK.KP: That’s everyone.

JG: OK. KP: If it’s a good Larry King impression, it doesn’t count. JG: OK.

KP: You lose. So it has to be a bad Larry King impression. The worse, the better.

JG: OK. KP: Then reveal something about yourself as Larry King that no one should know, as if you’re on the air. JG: OK.

KP: And then the third step is to go to the phones. And when you go to the phone, the name of the city, it helps if it’s funny-sounding. JG: Right.

KP: I’ll give you an example. So you really have an idea. Larry King voice "Thanksgiving, I like to teabag the gravy boats before the guests arrive…New Peters, California, hello.

" laughs All right. That is… as good or as bad as it gets. JG: Right.

KP: So no pressure, and you have the next, uh, twenty plus minutes to work on that. JG: OK.KP: Tonight, in forty minutes, coast to coast… JG: Coast to coast. KP: …is the debut of….

Which special is this, your stand up comedy, your third? Fifth? Tenth?

JG: Uh, third.KP: Third. JG: Third. KP: OK.

How long in preparation did you work on most of the material? JG: Um… well, you know, I would say about 2 and half years. But, I mean, I’m an observational guy, so it’s not like Cheney can shoot someone and I can… KP: Right.

JG: …get… you know the… KP: Yeah, yeah, yeah. JG: …the most jealous of, like, Louis Black, you know… KP: Right. JG: It’s like, “Someone shot someone?

He’s got ten minutes! € KP: Right, right. JG: So, you know, when you’re talking about, like, ketchup or the truly mundane… KP: Right.

JG: Maybe I can make a glass of water funny. I… and then…um… KP: Right. JG: …work on it for a bit and a lot of times there’s nothing there.

But… KP: Right. JG: So it takes some time, but I really kind of uh went into obsession mode like the last six months leading up to it. And, um… you know, it’s, it’s uh… it’s, you know, I wish there was some magic.

I mean, you.. KP: No, no. JG: …as a comedian, you know it. It’s like, if there were just some formula like, “All right, all I have to do is drink a Diet Coke…” KP: Right.

JG: …and then start typing and it just comes out. KP: And, and how are you facing the blank page? How does that work for your process?

For me, I stopped carrying around a Dictaphone and I stopped recording my sets, which is really stupid, and every time I thought of something funny I would tell a few people and if they laughed, it got into the act. JG: Yeah. KP: What is your process?

I hate to be a quitter on this one, but perhaps you guys can take what I have so far and run with it. KP: Please welcome, Mr. Jim Gaffigan. JG: Thanks Kevin.

Inaudible KP: Thank you so much for being here! Clapping KP: That’s the crew! JG: Thank you.KP: They love him.

JG: They’ve got good taste. KP: Mmm… while drinking KP: Now umm… I’ll give you what I’ll… what I promise to give every guest. JG: OK.

KP: An opportunity throughout our interview to work on the following, because at the end of the interview I’m going to ask you to do this. JG: OK.KP: It’s called the “Larry King Game. €?

JG: laughing OK? KP: All right? It’s uh… It’s uh… It’s a parting gift, a home game you can play with your friends.

It helps to be slightly intoxicated; I’m not going to lie to you. JG: All right.KP: Uhhh… the premise of the “Larry King Game� Is this.

Larry King, God Bless him, he’s102. JG: Yeah.KP: Hell of a career. But.. so… it’s my belief that it’s only a matter of time before he accidentally shares something about himself on the air that perhaps he shouldn’t.

JG: Yes.So when it’s your turn to play the “Larry King Game,� You must do a bad Larry King Impression. That’s kind of the good news.

JG: OK.KP: That’s everyone. JG: OK. KP: If it’s a good Larry King impression it doesn’t count.

JG: OK. KP: You lose. So it has to be a bad Larry King impression.

The worse, the better. JG: OK. KP: Then reveal something about yourself as Larry King that no one should know, as if you’re on the air.

JG: OK. KP: And then the third step is to go to the phones. And when you go to the phone, the name of the city, it helps if it’s funny sounding.

JG: Right. KP: I’ll give you an example. So you really… JG: Yes.KP: … have an idea.

KP: in Larry King voice "Thanksgiving, I like to teabag the gravy boats before the guests arrive…. " silence KP: "New Peters, California, hello." staff laughs KP: All right. That is… as good or as bad as it gets.

JG: Right.KP: So no pressure, and you have the next, uh, twenty plus minutes to work on that. JG: OK. KP: Um… tonight, in um forty minutes, Coast to Coast… JG: Coast to Coast.KP: …is the debut of uh… how… how… which special is this, your stand up comedy, your third?

Fifth? Tenth? JG: Uh, third.

KP: Third. JG: you. KP0: OK.

Um, how long in preparation did you work on most of the material? JG: Um… well, you know, I would say about 2 and half years. But, I mean, I’m an observational guy, so it’s not like Cheney can shoot someone and I can… KP: Right.

JG: …get… you know the… KP: Yeah, yeah, yeah. JG: …the most jealous of, like, Louis Black, you know… KP: Right. JG: It’s like, “Someone shot someone?

He’s got ten minutes! €? KP: Right,, right.

JG: So, you know, when you’re talking about, like, ketchup or the truly mundane… KP: Right. JG: Maybe I can make a glass of water funny. I… and then…um… KP: Right.

JG: …work on it for a bit and a lot of times there’s nothing there. But… KP: Right. JG: So it takes some time, but I really kind of uh went into obsession mode like the last six months leading up to it.

And, um… you know, it’s, it’s uh… it’s, you know, eh... I wish there was some magic. I mean, you.. KP: No, no. JG: …as a comedian, you know it.

It’s like, if there were just some formula like, “All right, all I have to do is drink a Diet Coke…� KP: Right. JG: …and then start typing and it just comes out.

KP: And, and how are you facing the blank page? How does that work for your process? For me, I stopped carrying around a Dictaphone… JG: Yeah.

KP: …and I stopped recording my sets, which is really stupid, and every time I thought of something funny I would tell a few people and if they laughed, it got into the act. JG: Yeah. KP: What is your process?

JG: Uh, my process is very much, you know, my, uh… I’m married to a very funny woman, who, uh, you know… people will give me a suggestion, like my manager said, you know, “You’re kind of a lazy guy… hammocks! €? And so my wife and I will just talk about hammocks and… there’s a couple of minutes on hammocks.

I don’t know if it’s in this special, but it’s on the DVD. And so there’s different things that I’ll write down... KP: Right. JG: You know, you know, the kernels of something KP: Bullet points?

JG: Yeah, that whole idea of soup in a bread bowl.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.