TEENS: Would this story opening make you want to read on? How old would you say I am based on my writing?

That depends on who sees the book, whether they can tell it's your brother, and whether you mock or otherwise make him appear not to be a good person.

No it could let him know what you truly think of him good or bad.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.