Why can't I stop hurting for my husbands love? I have been married @# years?

So sorry it took a while to get back to you. I pray that you've found some sense of relief & closure in your life. Asking an abuser why he did it...or what he's feeling sometimes will cause them to do the opposite of what you really want to happen.

They may tell you it's your fault, they don't love you anymore or even just say stupid stuff. The main thing to remember is it's not your fault, it's not even you being the problem, it's them. What's in them is what's coming out.

As for hurting for his love, him leaving might be because of his short comings. Some men are not great communicators, they will hold things inside or try to figure it out on their own. Either way they don't always get it.

Remember that you are whole with or without him. God is our healer, he will see you through all your pain & love you like on one else can.

Regardless of what happens, it's important to love yourself, take care of your kids & move on.

Love is a very strong bond. That is why it is hard to just turn those feelings off. When a person comes back and then leaves again, it causes us to try to guess why.

This can prevent us from healing and moving forward. That's where that word closure enters into the picture.

My guess is that you have strong feelings coupled with a book that is still open. Try to speak with your husband to find out what he is feeling and why he is feeling it. He is the only one who can verify what's going on.

If you speak with your husband and his mind is made up to leave, then try to say things to him that will allow you to close the book. This will take you out of a state of limbo and give you real insight about if there is hope.

If there is no hope for the marriage then, try to focus on your life and on your children. Speak to him only about the children.

This will make you both feel better and often times a man will re-think his decision and come back.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.