Why should I avoid punishing my child who has ADHD?

If your child has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), punishment ("No dessert for you!") may not have the lasting impact on your child's social-skills deficits that you'd hoped for. It may stop specific behaviors in specific settings, but because it doesn't teach right behaviors, positive reinforcement is more important for meaningful and lasting social-skills improvement. There are some negative side effects of punishment.

Your child may begin to avoid situations where she finds herself punished. So, rather than gain emotional or social skills that she needs, she just stays away from people or places where she gets in trouble. This can lead to school avoidance or anxiety disorders when she can't avoid punishing situations.

Again, the idea here is that if you don't get to the root of problem behavior (emotional causes), then your child remains bewildered, doesn't understand her own behavior, and feels desperately out of control. Other concerns with punishment are that your child may simply develop behaviors that help her avoid punishment, such as lying or hiding. Another risk is that your child begins to adapt to punishment, and you have to keep escalating your threats.

This kind of escalation can be very destructive to your connection with your child.

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