Would you still be friendly with a person who accused you falsely?

In this situation, it might be better for everyone if the couple did not reconcile. There is undoubtedly going to be some sort of harboring of resentment between everyone involved, and when it finally surfaces it can be a very dangerous thing. The woman was put into a difficult situation, believe her new love or believe her teenage daughter.

Her first instinct is to protect her daughter, so of course she would believe the accusations the girl made. What she could have done was talked to your friend and hear his side of the story. Match stories, and listen for inconsistencies in her daughter’s account of what happened.

Not to say that she didn’t believe her, but at least to ensure the girl was telling the truth and providing accurate information on the abuse she supposedly suffered. She needs to realize that at the end of the day her and her relationship were manipulated by her daughter, so that she could get her way. For me, there would be no forgiving the daughter right now.

That isn’t as simple as saying “oops, I made a mistake� And having everything go back to the way it was before. She lied, she let this man go to jail, and she continued to deceive everyone for 5 months before confessing.

That is 5 months of that man’s life that he undeservingly spent in incarceration. She was old enough to understand what she was doing, and the repercussions it could have for everyone, she just wanted something different than her mother and your friend did, and she was willing to do something so deplorable in order to get her way. Who’s to say she wouldn’t do it again, or something worse the next time she was unhappy with the situation?

He’s right to just move on with his life and cut ties with the mother and daughter. That way, he can be free to find or start a trusting and happy family.

I usually try to give a person a second chance unless they have done something very wrong and intentionally malicious towards me. In the specific situation in the question, I don't believe the woman knew that her daughter was trying to cause trouble. You said that the woman did not believe in his innocence and instead believed her daughter.

Forgiving the daughter for sending him to prison for that length of time would be very difficult. As a Christian, though, I would have to do just that. Would I still have to want to have anything to do with the daughter and her mother?

No, forgiving doesn't mean you have to go back to the people who have done you wrong. Perhaps some counseling for the three of them to sort out the situation and their differences may be the best thing to do. It just seems that the daughter may never like the man and that would always lead to stress in the relationship.

I would do the same thing. I would not want part of either one of them again. And even though the kid is a minor after five months I would be doing something to ruin her reputation among her piers.

This is a hard one. I've always believed in giving people second chances, but me going to jail because of a lie might be a bit hard for me to over look. Now if there had been no jail involved I would try to understand that whatever reason the girl had for lying; she still had a reason.

Everyone has a reason for the things they do. I think I would try to sit down with her and hear her out, why she's so against me marrying her mother. She could just be a child who doesn't want her father replaced.As for the mother, I'd have to understand that the girl is her child, and her child come's first.

I wouldn't blame her for believing her daughter. After all she's been with her daughter far longer than me. I think I would accept the girls apology for sending me to jail, but explain to the wife that it was just too much for me to pass.

Eh, I don't know though, I'm a bit of a softie so knowing me I would actually most likely look past it and still marry her. Hmm, yeah this most likely wasn't very helpful.LOL.

Although I do believe that forgiveness is divine, forgiveness doesn't mean returning to the life you had before the offense. In this situation, the man has every right to decide that he does not wish to continue the relationship. If he decides to forgive his girlfriend for not believing him, that's great for his own mental health.

However, he is under no obligation to try to make the relationship work. Personally, I neither forgive nor forget. I want to .. .

But I can't. In the past, I made it a rule to ignore all the times people hurt me and continue my relationships and friendships as though nothing were wrong. Unfortunately, this method of blind forgiveness did not serve me well, and so I abandoned URL1 may sound hypocritical--in my first paragraph I said that I believe forgiveness is divine.

In the second, I said that I cannot forgive those who have hurt me. My answer is that I recognize that forgiveness is the answer, but I am incapable of doing so myself.It is not a personal choice--I cannot force myself to forgive whether I want to forgive or not. What about your friend?

He should obviously make the decision that suits him the best.It sounds like he already has. I wish him the best of luck. The source that I have listed below has Biblical references about the subject of forgiveness.

Your friend may find them helpful.

In principal I usually believe in sorting out the issue and trying to repair the relationship, but this is beyond that, way beyond that! What this girl did was appalling and then to wait five months before coming clean about it is unspeakably awful. In my opinion she should spend some time in youth custody as a punishment for such a despicable act.

She didn't know he would go to jail? Yeah right, then it took her five months to realize it? Imagine if he had been attacked while he was jailed.

The girls mother is in a difficult position, but I can't believe she really had no idea that her daughter is a trouble maker. As for trying to involve you in rectifying the situation, just who does this girl think she is? She should make an announcement in the local press, saying what she did and making a public apology.

Even if your friend still has feelings for this woman, he has done the right thing by terminating the relationship, how could it ever have any future after this? I hope he can make a fresh start with someone else, who preferably has no vindictive children.

Nope! Once someone has done me wrong it is very VERY rare I give a second chance. I may 'play' nice, but it's only to get dirt on the person, or to get my revenge.

I would expect that if I were to falsely accuse someone they would no longer waste their time on me. Especially not in those circumstances. I may be one of those people that just isn't very forgiving, or at least unable to forget.My life is better with those who believe me, believe in me, and believe in what I say.

Those who have to question whether something I do is legitimate or who have to wonder if I have actually done something I am accused of, are not worth my time. I would rather have someone who says "Yep she did it" "Or no she didn't", instead of someone saying "maybe she did, maybe she didn't". Interesting question!

Forgiveness is vital to emotional and mental well being. Holding a grudge or seeking revenge is one sure way to sabotage any attempt to find a path to happiness, contentment, or peace. Many religions teach forgiveness as a core doctrine.

Christianity, in particular, starts with each individual's need to be forgiven and then moves on to the individual's need to forgive others. Having said that, it is altogether possible to forgive an individual, and yet feel no desire to keep close company with them, such as a friendship would require. Furthermore, there is also a concept known as self preservation.

When there is no certainty that the wrong will not be repeated, it makes sense to pack up your tent and move on down the road. This video is a compelling audio-visual presentation of the ideas I have broached.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.