Do you ever go out of your way to make people feel comfortable? ( Details enclosed, please help!)?

I have a similar issue. When people ask for help, or I see they need help, I feel compelled to assist. For me, part of the reason for this is that I just genuinely like to be nice and be helpful, I derive a lot of self worth from being helpful, and I know that other people will like me if I help them.

Part of the reason is also because the only way I could please my parents growing up was by being helpful and doing everything they wanted me to do (they were abusive and narcissistic, I later figured out, but that's another story). I have a lot of anxiety in saying "no" because I don't want to upset people or have them dislike me, and saying "no" makes me feel like a bad person. I've spent some time in therapy, and some of the things that helped me to get over this were to realize that you can't "buy" friendship.

If people only like you because you do things for them, they are using you (even if they're being nice about it) and that's not real friendship. I've noticed, many times, that if say "no" to people who are used to getting my help, they will get angry, which makes me feel bad. But part of this is my own fault for creating a relationship where I'm only valued for what I do, and not for who I am, and my eagerness to be helpful attracts and encourages users.

Also, I needed to realize that saying "no" and having boundaries is healthy. If I give up too much of my time and energy to everyone who asks, I won't have any for the things and people who really matter, and I will get burned out (which happened to me, and I ended up with a nervous breakdown). You don't need a "good reason" to say no.

"I'm tired" or "I want to stay home today" are good enough reasons. Some people call these types of excuses "mental health vacations." Taking care of yourself is just as valid as taking care of others.

It's ok to say, "No, I can't." You don't owe anyone any additional explanations.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.