I feel dead & I want to die but im scared? Like nothing is real ¬hing ever was?

At 73 years old, carrying a fairly heavy load of *pain* in this body, *all* the time -- i'm aware that there will be a time when the pain is *so* intense that being *nothing* after I die would be a blessed *relief* compared to an excruciating overload of pain! It's kind of strange that someone would *rather* be non-existent forever after rather than living in a world free of evil for eternity. It seems to be saying that this person would rather to have *never* lived... However, "free of evil" doesn't necessarily mean "free of pain", either!

We could be upon a world free of evil, but if, still, in a physical existence like this one, with *weather*, storms, floods, etc. a tree or landslide could fall upon us, crushing some bones -- and a *crippled* life after that could be *very* painful. Personally, i've already been assured that there *is* continuing life after the *metamorphosis* of what we *call* "death". I've been contacted by my mother from the Other Side... also by Dad & by 3 different friends who have passed-over.

So i've received personal assurance from people who have been *close* to me. What Mom told me was, "I'm singing in the Light," and "I *love* being in the Lap of Love." Dad seemed kinda *lost*.

It *wasn't* what he had been expecting, I am suspecting. He *feared* dying, terribly -- & hung onto life on This Side as desperately as he possibly *could*. My closest (longest time, over 40 years) male friend, Steve, died on August 6th of this year.

A bit over 19 hours after he died he came-thru, telepathically, & told me he was "coming back" and that he'd formed a "compact" with Mom and Dad (i *believe* it was the intention of reincarnating near the same time as brothers or sister or cousins) to which I heard Dad say, "Wonderful!" (Mom & Dad loved Steve as if he had been their *own* son -- for he certainly demonstrated a *lot* of love for them in helping take care of them for Mom's last 6 years & Dad's last 10 years. I've *also* been told by God, Himself (believe it or not!) that i've died a half a million times, already! So that would imply that *this* is my 500,001st incarnation, if He wasn't just "rounding off".

Guesstimating 40 years an incarnation (i can't be sure, of course -- maybe lots of those incarnations were as a moth or a mayfly!) that extends to 20 *million* years i've (possibly) lived in all those various incarnations -- across Who Knows? How many *different* worlds! Anyway, i'm fully expecting to be living the *next* billion lifetimes -- incarnated on whatever worlds & dimensions across an infinite cosmos -- & hopefully *enjoying* most of them... in *love* & in *wonder* (&, also hopefully) *creatively* & *sensitively*.

Nope, it doesn't. And honestly I think my life is better for it. "I think there’s this strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for.

It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for… We have everything to live for." - Ricky Gervais I think it comes down to acceptance. Once it is accepted, there is a comfort that comes with not relegating this life to just a test.

It becomes so much more. As you noted, as an atheist, I realize and accept that my life will truly be over when I die. All my thoughts, world views, memories, etc. will cease to exist.

That realization drives me to make the best of this life. I love deeper, work harder, laugh more, and appreciate every day I have. I realize I won't get to see my family after my death.

They will not be seen or known again by me or anyone else in an afterlife. Every day could be the last chance to tell them I love them. I work hard in my career to better provide for my family, I let the things that don't matter go, and I strive to say yes to every opportunity for a new experience, because I may not get another chance.

I was once asked if I wake up tomorrow and believe in a higher power, would my life be better? It was a pretty easy answer of "No".. For an afterlife, an eternity of anything might get a bit tedious, wouldn't it? Isn't variety what makes life so good?

The ups are so much better after a down. The closest friends that I have are so close to me because of the bad things we went through together. Victories are so much better when it was a struggle.

I guess I would agree with your friend, as eternity is not a word that I find any comfort in.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.