I want to get married but my boyfriend says he loves me very much and wants to marry me, but not for another year or so?

I want to get married but my boyfriend says he loves me very much and wants to marry me, but not for another year or so. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 4 months. We have been living together for a year.

I have gained a lot of weight since we met and I am currently trying to get gastric bypass surgery. I want to get married, and my boyfriend said that we could, but not til after my surgery. He says that he loves me and he is going to marry me, but that he wants to really make sure that I stay the same as a skinny person as I am now.

He says it is a life changing experience and that who knows how I will be after it is all done and if it doesn't change me, or him, or both of us. Am I wrong to think this is totally stupid? I know we haven't been together for that long, and he says he will marry me but not right now.

He told me he loves me and he knows he wants me for his life, but he hasn't yet felt that extra something where its like ok I really am going to put a ring on her finger. Is it too soon for me to feel that he should? Should I move on?

Asked by Claudia1981 30 months ago Similar questions: married boyfriend loves marry year Lifestyle > Relationships.

Similar questions: married boyfriend loves marry year.

It's important that you take care of yourself Speaking as a male who has a wife, I think it's appropriate that you first deal with the weight issue. A person says a lot about themselves when they add weight. I have gained pounds over the years, making me less attractive to my wife, and it also reflects less self-esteem.It's like "what the hell, let's just chow down on some vanilla ice cream forget the exercise routine and indulge myself.

" I can't accept that in myself, nor would I accept it in your case. You must loss the weight, and then reconsider marriage only after your BMI is appropriate. Thank you and good luck!

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It could be too soon. Yes, he could be threatened by your future weight loss. He could also be simply not ready to get married.It sounds like he loves you and you do have a lot to look forward to in the relationship.

It is still early in the relationship as far as him asking you to marry you. Of course, you should know his intentions and that he does know that marriage is what you want and expect in the relationship. Maybe he doesn’t feel the time is right to get married when you have such a big event coming up in your life and that he would like things to settle down a bit before you two take such a big step.

At least he’s not taking off as you go forth with the process of gastric bypass. I don’t think this is so much about being "skinny" because evidently you weren’t skinny when you meant him and you must have been overweight for you to get to the area of considering gastric bypass. I just read your detail section again and I now see what you were trying to say.

He wants to see if you will remain the same person you are now after you become a so called "skinny" person. This means he may be a little afraid that you may get it all together, become more confident and not be the same person you are now. He may feel that you will no longer want him.

In fact, I think this is good for you to see. You may find out that he will be extremely supportive of you during this experience. I read somewhere that the ideal time to date someone before marriage is around 2.3 years.

It makes sense. A year is not long enough but by the time a year and half or so goes by you’ve seen a lot and they also said something about being engaged for a year of that time period which makes sense also.So, it is sort of early for him to feel as though he is ready to put a ring on your finger. Time has a way of working everything out one way or the other.

You might want to see how he handles something as important as this life changing operation you have coming up. For you, this could be a great opportunity to see how he would handle other situations in your life should you decide to marry him. You have to realize this is not all about him asking you, you have to decide is he is worthy of you.

Women forget that and they put all of the emphasis on the guy asking them. Best Wishes! .

Br what you want to be. Not what He wants you to be. Sounds as if he still has a lot of baggage from his last train wreck relationship.

And is trying to make you pack your bags to go on a guilt trip with him. And maybe you should wait till after you have the surgery to see if you still want him. (Not the other way around) All People go through so many changes as they age.

I bet there are few people who are still married to the person they fell in love with that have not grown or changed since there marriage. All people do. Its Human nature, and the world we live in.

If losing weight makes you Happy, or staying just the way you are, makes you happy. Then do what you want. Don't let him make that decision for you because of his views of what he thinks you should be, Stay true to yourself.

Video Go your own way .

Yes he is stupid and shallow. Move on out and move on. Ok, so you shouldn’t have let yourself go....don’t know what your issues are, so I have NO idea why you gained the weight.

I certainly hope your doing the GASTRIC for YOURSELF and not that NIMROD. BTW, Gastric is not forever...I know 7 people who have had Gastric and 4 of them gained all the weight back......its NOT the fix you think it is. And in your heart you will always know that he loves you for your looks.....I don’t know your age.....but isn’t romantic to see a couple who are 80 holding hands....all old & wrinkled and still together after 50 or 60 years?

Different time & era....Hes just hanging around until "something better comes along" abd he’ll hold your weight over your head, you will always feel the pressure to be thin and look good...now I am not saying you shouldn’t want to be thinner & look good....I was over 300 lbs for many many years....I lost the weight the old fashioned way....I got a divorce and dumped the jerk....along with him, I lost over 200 lbs...and have kept it off for 25 years...but I was always overweight, he did NOT marry me skinny......so the weight wasn’t the issue...we were just too young. I have been in many relationships, where I feel like the guy is with me.....until he kinds someone better(of course hes retarded, because there is no one better then me(LOL). And realize this, if you have children, and you have an issue with weight, that could be a problem.

This is NO way to start a marriage...you will always have the fear of losing him because your not up to his standards...do not make this grave mistake. Hes a shallow misguided little boy thats want perfection..... I never believe that anyone is in love until they have been married a long time....sure your "IN LOVE" sorta when you walk down the aisle. But I truly believe REAL TRUE love develops over time...going thru the ups & downs, trials and tribulations of relationships.....thats what TRUE love is.....do yourself a favor and find a man who loves you for you.......

He's basically looking at the horror of settling down with a person and having that person change out from under him. He being nicely polite about it, but he is looking at someone who has not controlled her eating and is likely wondering what else she doesn't control. He doesn't want a lifetime commitment to X the Unknown.

I think, that if you can become reliable and consistent and responsible, do so now. If you can't do any of that, well, you could start over or "move on" as you put it, but you'd run into the same problem elsewhere, too. Wherever you go, there you are.

You drag who you are into EVERY relationship. Spend your effort making that person one others want a relationship with. And, ya know, the funny thing about that is that weight doesn't have anything to do with it..

" "DOES COMPATIBILTY MEANS MY BOYFRIEND LOVES ME" "Is it a good idea to live with your boyfriend before getting married?" "I want my boyfriend to ask me to marry him but not if he isn't sure. What can I do? " "When people get married, do they automatically marry the in-laws too?" "my boyfriend got married on me,with his ex girlfriend.

Did that mean he never love me any way? " "How do you know I your boyfriend really loves you?

My boyfriend loves to make beats but he cant find one that is good and free.

Does compatibilty means my boyfriend loves me.

I want my boyfriend to ask me to marry him but not if he isn't sure. What can I do?

My boyfriend got married on me,with his ex girlfriend. Did that mean he never love me any way?

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.