If a person you are dating requests a minor change in your aesthetic habits, is it presumptuous of him to do so, or petty of you to refuse?

Years ago, I was moving from Dallas to Odessa (Lord only knows why anyone would want to make THAT move willingly, but there you have it). We had been packing, stacking boxes, moving stuff into the bed of the truck, moving furniture... I was exhausted. While in the truck on the way home, I took off my bra and laid back to rest.

I had been sweaty and the bra was soaked, so it felt really good to take it off. About two hours later, we're stopping in a small town where nobody knows us, where we'll never be again, and we're going to get something to eat. I'm starving after all that work and aching too.

I have large breasts... putting a bar on in a truck is not an easy feat, so I was going to go without a bra to the little diner. My ex told me he wouldn't be seen in public with me without a bra, saying, "I like the women I'm with to look good. " OMG... I refused to put on the bra, refused to get out of the truck, and I probably bawled for 100 miles more down the street while we ate Wendy's in the truck instead.

How dare he! Another ex: I was standing in front of the mirror combing my hair getting ready to go meet his parents for the first time. I have this awesome hair... it's super long, super healthy, soft and a very pretty shade of auburn red.

People, complete strangers, come up and touch my hair - it comes down below my butt. When it's hot outside, that much hair gets hot too, so I often put it up in a pile on the top of my head. He comes up behind me while I'm brushing it and reaching for the combs I wear in my hair and says, "You're not putting it up again are you?

I hate it when you wear it up. It's ugly up. " I paused, took a deep breath and quietly said, "Michelle, your hair looks really beautiful when it's down.

Why don't you wear it down today?... Michelle, your hair is so gorgeous. You ought to wear it down when you meet my parents; my mom will love it. " Pause.Pause."What?

" he asks. "Nothing," I say quietly, sliding one of the combs into my hair to put it up.So I guess the answer to the question is, under most circumstances, no. However, my Ryan has a way about him that he can get me to do anything and make me think I did it because it's what I wanted, and I'd feel good about it.

I remember awhile back, I was considering cutting my hair. I had been really sick, in and out of the hospital and on bed rest, and my hair was suffering because it's hard to keep up with at this length. When I told him I was thinking about cutting it, he said, "I think you'll look beautiful whether you cut your hair or not, but I like your long hair.

" Needless to say, my hair has grown three more inches since that time and I haven't cut it yet.So I guess it depends on how they ask, why they ask, and who does the asking, as well as how much it's in alignment with what I want for myself too.

My husband as requested mulitple times I be more "girly" as I'm not a wear dresses, makeup and do your hair kinda girl. He also requested I dye my hair blue once. I found it fine, I've asked him to do things before.

I even demand he never cuts his hair off. (It's long) I wouldn't recommend making such requests early in a relationship as it might be seen as you don't like the person just how they are, but after you've been together a while I see it no more insulting than a friend suggesting an outfit at the mall. I did dye my hair blue btw and I loved it.. I'm now addicted to henna dyes of bright colors.My point is sometimes following suggestions of others in regards to our appearance will work out for the best.

I think in all aspects of life it's important to be open minded and receptive, especially in love.

Based on what you've said, the answer is... neither! A small change is not an unreasonable thing to ask for, but not making the change is well within your rights. If he pushes the issue, then he's being a dick and it might be a warning sign for you.

I've had men ask me to wear more dresses, wear sexier clothes, wear high heels, get fake nails, let my hair grow, and wear more/less makeup. I refuse. I tell them that I'm me, and if they can't be happy with me the way I am, then they can leave.

I don't see how someone can be attracted to you in the first place if you aren't what they want. On the other hand, I've had men tell me that a certain shade of lipstick didn't look good on me, or that I'd look better with bangs, and those are small things that I could do for them. I've found, in my long life, that people who want to change the way you look are shallow and insensitive most of the time.

Can't generalize and say always, but most of the time that's what I see later on down the line in other areas.

It depends on how long you have been together, what they ask from you and how they ask. If I have been with someone a month and he requests that I change my hair, I am probably going to refuse, and rethink the relationship. If the guy I have been with for a year or more mentions that he would love to see me wear some sexier underwear, I am probably going to end up visiting my local Victoria's Secret sometime soon.

Some things are minor and can be treated as such. Being asked the right way, however, is incredibly important. If my boyfriend starts complaining that I have put on some weight and caustically suggests I stop eating french fries, I am not going to react well.

If he says that my new curves are sexy but that he wants to make sure I am healthy so why don't we try working out together, I would probably be much more amenable. At the end of the day, I want to look good for my boyfriend. Luckily, my boyfriend thinks I look awesome no matter what.

But if he had minor requests, I would most likely take them under serious consideration.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.