Parents/Homework Advice (Related to A Serious Mental Health Issue)?

1. Do you have any other relative or even a family friend with whom you can live? I know you feel like you can't leave without your little brother.

Maybe you could find him sanctuary with other family, too. Emma's got good advice about working with social services. 2.

Your mom is extraordinarily sick. You wouldn't be normal if you weren't resentful and pissed off. But your resentment and anger are holding you back.

Clearly you know that you are not worthless, you know that you are 'something' and not nothing. If you bought into her spewings, you'd feel you're too worthless to excel in school and too insignificant to make something of your life. You've got a real strong character and will: hang onto it.

Consider that your awful upbringing honed that steely will. That is a quality that will serve you in good stead as a women in the world ahead. 3.

Release any expectations you have for a more normal relationship with your mother. Won't happen in the near future. If you have no expectations, you can't be ravaged with disappointment.

Disappointment paralyzes people. Your childhood and teen years have not been, and will not be, even close to 'normal.' Sadly, you are going to have to learn way earlier than most how to love and nurture yourself - since you won't get it anywhere else right now. Oh, you'll get it eventually in future relationships, but don't wait for it now.

4. How to love and nurture yourself? Take an inventory of who you are and what you have accomplished.

Really think about this without judgment. Remember that you are more than a student, a part-time employee, your brother's mother, your mother's adult caregiver. You are kind.

You love your brother. You're compassionate. You don't live day-to-day - you see and plan for the future.

Perhaps you're organized or open-minded or friendly, etc etc. You are a truckload of wonderful things. THAT is who you are. Make that list and you'll be surprised when you read it.

Re-read that damn list every day, as many times a day as you need to. Wouldn't you love someone who had the qualities on that list? Probably you would.

Well, girl, that's YOU. Nurture yourself? Give yourself a break now and then.

Beware of being hyper-responsible; you can't change the world or your household to any degree at this point. Don't judge your feelings. It's okay to be angry and resentful.

A nurturing adult would tell you those things. You have to tell yourself those things. A nurturing adult would also help you through it by figuring out some strategies or helping you accept (for example) your anger but gently urging you to work through it for your own benefit.

Again, you're going to have to do this for yourself. Maybe think of it this way. What would you want a nurturer to say to you and do for you?

If someone came to you with your story, how would you nurture her? Then do it for yourself. You sound like a terrific, mature and STRONG young woman read that list who's been dealt a lousy hand.

Don't let it poison you. You're going to make some kids a fabulous mother some day -- of course, after you've finished school and gotten a great career going.

I am sorry to hear about what is going on as my life used to be the same as yours. My mother is an alcoholic sociopath and I had to go to school while holding down a job and caring for my younger siblings and wondering if she would come home that night. You are old enough to move out, claim income support and housing benefit to live in a shared house IF you have the strength to go to the police or social services about your home life.

You now need a report from one of them to prove that you cannot continue to live at home. In all honesty your brother needs to be removed from your mother's care and placed with a foster family. If you are taken into care as well you will be looked after financially even when you go to uni and you will be a priority for social housing.

In 4 years maybe or when you finish uni you could have parental responsibility for your brother and a house. The psychologist I used to see helped me realise that my mother is unable and unwilling to change. Social services may get a bad press but you never hear about the good they do.

Go into school tomorrow and tell a teacher, tell a youth worker or call childline on 0800 1111 any time of the day or night. There can be a social worker to collect you and your brother from school tomorrow and someone will make sure you are safe, healthy, happy and looked after. Please let people help you.

Nothing is as bad as what you are going through right now. All you need to do is hand a print out of this question to a teacher at school and say you need help. You will be believed and you will most likely find that the school suspected something was wrong at home for a long time.

I am adding you as a contact in case you need to talk. Big hug and best wishes, Autumn x.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.