What do you think of this poem? any critique pls :)?

Make the bastard suffer Cassie. I'd have none of this peaceful dying in his sleep. For the poem to work fully he should have turned to drink and womanising before left his family.

This is often the case. How is this.....? Thirty years ago, he was whole. His wife, the true love of his life Made a home for their three children.

But his thirst and unfaithful strife Made him resent all that was good. Thus he gambled and did not care About the hurt he inflicted. So he left them, without a prayer.

In his small bed-sit on his own He suffered a slow painful death. His company was Doom and Gloom. They watched his last agonised breath.

So when he passed, he wasn't missed. The Landlord found him dead in bed His face contorted, the room fouled With a tangible sense of dread.

As the recovering alcoholic that I am. The first two verses are depicted from a spouses view and I would never challenge them. Verse three is from a sick persons view.

It needs to have alot more of insanity involved. Maybe adding another verse before the poems conclusion. Just a thought i'ts your poem.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.