Being physically miserable makes me feel at peace with myself. Is that a personality disorder?

You are a masochist. Sometimes this can be a symptom of a personality disorder (such as Borderline Personality Disorder) but by its self, it isn't a personality disorder. More.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.