Can anyone translate italian to english?

Ok, I'm Italian and I'll try to translate this for you, but it's no easy beacuse these are jokes! Interviewer asks: Name? Totti answers: Francesco.

Interviewer: Last name? Totti says: Totti. Interviewer: Born?

Totti: Yes! Totti asks to Del Piero: Alessa' (Alessandro, his name), how was the test? Del Piero laughs because of Totti's facial expression.

At the end Del Piero answers: Bad, bad ... I handed over blank. Totti: Me too... now they'll think we copied! Vieri says: Totti and Beckham meet at the airport.

Beackham greets Totti, " Francesco. How's your team?". Totti answers, "Tim (a mobile phone company, which is pronounced in the same way like team)?

No, no... I feel better with Omnitel (another mobile phone company)". Interviewer says: So, Francesco. Let's revise English you need for your career.

Then Totti translates phrase from English into Italian (in Roman dialect), and professor says "Good, see you studied!". Totti translates phrases into Italian again, but he speaks in Roman dialect. Buffon says: There's Totti who does not feel very well, "my chest hurts".

So he goes to doctor, he undresses, he takes off his shirt and doctor says... No, who's says "it hurts here? ...oh, it's his, yes it's true... (Buffon does not remember well the joke). Buffon begins to tell the same joke again: Totti shows his breast and asks doctor, "Doc, is here... sternum?" and doctor answers, "No, no... it's inside".

(In English is not funny, but in Italian sternum= sterno and inside= interno have same sound). Interviewer: Totti, what do you think about Capello's turnover? Totti: Well, I think... You hear a voice that says "it's a bullshit!".

Then, interviewer repeats the question and Totti answers: I think it's better if he maintain Mercedes". Then, Totti says: It's bad!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.