College roommate/dorm anxiety?

My daughter has anxiety and sees a therapist. She has the same anxiety as you, in new situations where is alone without anyone she knows even in new situations where she is with people she knows she still has anxiety. Her anxiety got really bad when she gradated early from school this year.

The change in her usually busy life full of friends and plans suddenly stopped and she just had a sort a shock from the change. She started seeing a psychotherapist once a week who helped her so much so I can really help you. It helped her a lot as she moved into her dorm today and did so well.

When you have anxiety you have useless thoughts that get you there, You have all these useless thoughts that make you worry and this tenses your body up and this just gets worse and worse. My daughter had it to the point she was tensing so much her stomach muscles were pressing on her bladder and she starting having the physical symptom of needing to urinate when she had anxidety even though she did not have to go, its a common symptom. She wasnt leaving the house.

It is normal to have a reaction to situations but from that initial reaction which should be quick you should switch it to healthy thinking. Instead of for example, your company is closing and you will lose your job, you start getting really anxious about your bills, what are you going to do, what will people think, and it gets worse and worse, instead you can have that initial reaction but then think to yourself, well I have great skills, I ahve done this job for years, I have a great record, I can do this and this and ..... That turns your useless thinking (which will get you nowhere to healthy thinking). Useless thoughts include those you have where you worry about what others are thinking about you.

Like I think they all know I have anxiety. I think they will not like my hair this way. You need to think about what you are thinking as you are thinking to make better decisons about which thoughts to dismiss becausee they are useless and which are worth thinking about.

This will stop the snowball effect where those thoughts get worse and worse and your body gets more and more tense with anxiety. It makes more sense to take the time to think about what you are thinking than to waste time dwelling on negative thoughts. So they call this cognitive checks, thinking about what you are thinking right away as you are thinking it so you can stop the useless thoughts quickly right after you start having them and that allows your thoughts to slow down so you can replace them with healthy thinking.

It is very important to tell your family and friends about these cognitive checks so when they start to see you having negative thoughts and getting overly anxious they can remind you to do your cognitive checks and switch your thought patterns to positive. Look on the internet for this healthy thinking but here is one site http://www.ivillage.com/anxiety-using-po... You did not make a mistake. You will have no choice than to meet people because you all will be living in a dorm hall sharing common areas etc. Also my daughter said all the advisors and college staff and peer mentors are super nice and they make you feel so welcome.

She said their are scheduled things the resident aides have for the residents to do to get to know each other. And if you want to meet people you too can volunteer to help the peer mentors or the resident aides or any staff at school, all those helpers are a big group in and of themselves. And you are not alone in thinking this way and there will be others worried about the same so don't think its just you.

It is normal to be nervous about new adventures but then switch to positive thinking, yes its a new place and you won't know anyone, but say this, it will be exciting, I will meet different people of all cultures, I deserve to be here (because colleges don't let just anyone in, you have to qualify with your grades etc), I am lucky to be here (many cant afford it even if they qualify), and I am beginning the first steps to a successful career that will allow me to do the job I like and be able to provide for myself and my family. Please don't worry, this is a good thing and do your cognitive checks!

You will change because when my sister was in high school she was the most quietest thing ever she even won the most quietest award but now since she went to college she had changed so much she talks all the time including cussing and giging people when shes driving and drinking. But I think thats jus a college thing, maybe....

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.