Do Jainists practice yoga?

Yoga is an ancient form of self-inflicted mental and physical torture, oft chosen by holy men in order to attain higher levels of holiness through this torture. These holy men, called yogis, compete with each other as to which can sustain the heaviest yoke, and the most anatomically impossible position, while purifying their thoughts in this most painful manner. Yogis also may frequently undergo the mental torture of teaching novices, intermediate practitioners, or future yogis.

The Sanskrit word yoga has the literal meaning of "yoke", from a root yuj meaning to join, to unite, or to attach. Yoga practitioners who survive and choose to attend more than one yoga lesson are taught a code word after the lesson as a badge of honor, a symbol of "coolness" if you will, among fellow practitioners. This code word is special in that it changes meaning when one advances to higher levels of yoga practice.

This is often used as a practical joke among novice practitioners as well. It also has the alternative meaning of "I see what you did there". There are as many different styles of yoga as there are of martial arts, as the Hindus, Jainists, and Buddhists cannot agree on who came up with the idea first, and is therefore the most original and the best.

To practice yoga, one usually requires a yoga mat, and optionally a bolster, hand blocks, a leg strap, and yoga shawl or blanket. Alternatively, a Wii balance board may be used. The yoga mat or balance board is designed to prevent the hands or feet from slipping from their assigned positions.

The bolster and hand blocks are beginners' aids in the event that the practitioner is fat or has brittle bones or tight, unsevered tendons. The blanket is used to keep the cold out, since sneezing can interfere with yogic breathing.