Health insurance company says new doctor "should" be in-network, doctor's office says it's up to the insurance?

Out of network" is different than not accepting insurance. Insurance companies bargain with provides to pay X - these providers are "in network". You can go to others, but the insurance company will only pay X to out of network providers.

You're on the hook for the rest. Next time, ask if they're in network as well. Check your insurance documents.

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