How do I tell a politically motivated friend I could care less about politics?

I was raised by two registered Republicans who have been voting for Democrats for decades, I grew up in one of the few Republican areas in a very Democratic state, and I went to a college where liberal politics seemed to be synonymous with extreme radicalism and conservative students either masked their political ideas or demonstrated unflinching opinions to defend themselves against their many critics. Usually, I’d rather just drop the subject than get into an argument that it seems can never be won! It’s not that I don’t care at all, but I wouldn’t describe myself as an active participant in any political activity.

Like you, I have my values and causes, and I vote. I respect those who are deeply invested in their political views but I don’t aim to be one because I don’t care enough to commit myself so much. I admire their candor but I don’t appreciate being dragged into it or having it pegged against me.

With that somewhat ambivalent perspective on politics in the highly political environments in which I’ve gained most of my knowledge and values, I have realized one important thing: some people are interested in politics simply because the issues are so hotly contested, the “opponents” are so easy to attack, and the debates are so fiery. The very things that turn me off from politics as a “hobby,” the conflict, the right vs. wrong, the overwhelming decisions, etc. are just exciting to some people. Politics is considered one of “those” controversial topics that one should avoid in sensitive situations, so I can think of a several scenarios that make things awkward between you and your friend, especially depending on the nature of your relationship.

If you feel like you can be honest and firm, make a point to let him or her know that you respect them but that you don’t want to argue or you’re simply not as passionate as they are. Bring it up when you’re out of the car, away from the office, and when you have been talking about or doing something else rather than waiting until the next time the subject comes up. That way, your friend is more likely to understand that you’re not just having a knee-jerk response, but that you’ve been seriously thinking about what you’re saying and your feelings need to be taken seriously.

If you want to keep things lighter, express extreme boredom and tease, “Come on, don’t you know you’re not supposed to talk money, religion or politics? Give it a rest,” or something to that effect. Repeat that enough and your friend should at least realize that he or she isn’t going to get a hot debate out of you.

After all, if someone wants their opinions to be respected, they need to express them respectfully. Don’t just put up and shut up. If your friend is the type to get a rush from stating his or her strong opinions, they’ll gladly take the opportunity to talktalktalktalktalk even if you don’t feel like responding.

Instead, bring up something that you *do* care about. Maybe the two of you can share another passion or hobby, or maybe you’re just better off as carpoolers who enjoy the same crime drama. Regardless, please don’t let your friend make you feel guilty for not wanting to get caught up in the whirlwind of politics.

It’s a good thing that you know what you believe in and you know what you care about, no matter what it is.