How Do You Overcome Jealousy & Insecurity?

Jealousy is all but inevitable in romantic relationships. In small doses it is not destructive and can even be used to heighten your bond with your significant other. But if you constantly feel inadequate and wonder if your partner is about to leave you for someone else, then jealousy becomes a poison that eats away at your relationship and psyche.

The key to minimizing jealousy is building self-esteem--the better you feel about yourself, the more secure you will feel in your relationship. Evaluate your jealous thoughts. If you have a nagging fear that your partner will leave you, ask yourself: Are your fears realistic?

Has your partner given you a reason to be suspicious? You might conclude that, logically, you have no reason to be jealous. Take responsibility for your emotions and deal with them head on.

Powerful feelings of hurt, anger and rejection are not without cause. You might be carrying issues from your childhood into the relationship or perhaps a previous partner was ... more.

Jealousy and possessiveness are common emotions experienced by married couples, single men or women, or those who have been in a relationship for a long period of time. Though sometimes it is not a problem and can in fact help a relationship remain healthy in moderation, these emotions often escalate into real, relationship-breaking problems. Overcoming jealousy and possessiveness is not easy, but it can be very rewarding to do so.

Identify and admit that your jealousy and possessiveness is a problem in your relationships and in your life. Admitting to a problem is the first step in overcoming it. Convincing yourself that it is justified or deserved jealousy is not going to help you overcome these emotions.

Write down a list of the fights and arguments that your jealousy and possessiveness have caused in your relationships. Accept the fact that there is no way to prevent your significant other from cheating. If he wants to, he will, and though he may or may not be caught, there is ... more.

Jealousy is pure poison to a relationship: destroying trust and rendering communication impossible. It often stems from issues of self-esteem or an unhealthy fixation on the importance of the relationship. One can become jealous over little things, and the struggle to deal with it requires both internal growth and support from your partner.

Calming a jealous rage takes time and effort--a combination of allowing the feelings to vent, then examining their root causes--but doing so can also help strengthen the relationship. Acknowledge that jealousy is an issue. It won't get any better if you ignore it, and declining to talk about it only lets it fester and grow.

If you can look at your behavior objectively and ask how you would respond if a stranger were acting as you do, you can attain some objectivity in noticing its impact on you. Identify specific triggers which spark your jealousy--a person, a situation or a pattern of behavior--and ask yourself why they affect you the way they do. ... more.

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