How do you overcome overwhelming jealousy over your spouse's former relationships?

I don't ascribe to the belief that jealousy is fully "owned" by the jealous party. I think it's sort of two-pronged solution. The first part is your self, of course.

Remind yourself that your spouse chose you, and usually, they didn't even know you when they were with any of those people. They were dating them because better (you) hadn't come along. Now that they're with you, they're (presumably) happy and not thinking about those people any more.

They have what they want. Also, remember that you trust your partner. (If you don't, it's time for some serious talking, or time to leave).

You trust them for a reason. The second part is their responsibility. Not everyone would agree with me here, I guess, but I think your partner is obligated to help with your jealousy.It is not okay to talk about past flames if it bothers the other person, so your partner should know not to do that, and respect your requests.

They should also make reasonable accommodations such as not seeing those people socially. It's fair to be honest with your partner about your jealousy and have them respond in a nonjudgmental, cooperative way.It's also important not to be judgmental with yourself. Jealousy is human.

This is a tough one for me to answer because I would normally suggest overcoming these feelings prior to getting married. I did have these kinds of emotions when my wife and I were still dating and I just reached a point of realization. We both dated it is absolutely silly of me to be jealous.

She is here with me now and wants to be with me exclusively going forward. I could allow myself to think about the past, but what would it matter, what good could come of it? What matters is how important you are to each other now and in the future.

Enjoy your time together and really savor it. Cuddle, give each other foot rubs, compliment each other and have fun together. It is this fun that will make other couples jealous of the two of you.

If you have ever experienced feelings of jealousy over the past loves of your spouse, you know about the uncertainty that follows right along with it. You wonder what types of persons your husband’s exes were. Were they nice?

Were they beautiful? More beautiful than you? And why did they break up?

Was the breakup your spouse’s fault or did his/her former girl/boyfriends pull the plug on their relationship? And if so, how much over his/her ex is your spouse (if the breakup is more recent). I think a common curiosity and comparative approach to your husband’s (or wife’s) former relationships is actually a rather normal way of trying to understand what precisely your spouse is looking for in a partner.

You want to find out what he sought in the past and how these preferences compare to his current ones. You also seek to understand which personality traits may have worked for him in the past and also those that obviously did not work. Overall, unless your spouse is currently still in contact or has a close friendly relationship with one of his/her exes, there is typically no need for jealousy towards a partner’s previous relationships.

Everybody has likely dated somebody else prior to their marriage and what happened in the past has nothing to do with a current partner. It would be unfair to burden a partner with jealousy over past relationships, especially when he/she did not even know their current spouse back then.

Something is fueling these feelings, internally or externally. I suggest that you sit down and really think about why you feel this way. Was there something your partner said or the tone they took when they spoke about their exes that made you feel all messed up inside?

Like are they extremely dreamy and reminiscent when talking about this person? Do others put the ex up on a pedestal? If something like this is going on, let your partner know that it bothers you.

I don't know how the relationship is going as far as communication but trust me, getting this out will only help you in the long run. Really talk this out and explain why it bothers you. Do this at a neutral time and not when there is already an issue bubbling over.

Now once you have this out of the way it's time to work on yourself, though you should have already begun this process. Insecurity breeds jealousy. What is making you feel so negative about yourself, because this is what this all about, your poor feelings about yourself and low self-love.Is it something from your own past that has contributed to the jealousy?

A terrible ex, poor friendships, or any other type of relationship where you felt you weren't appreciated for who you are? Is there something going on now? Does your partner not treat you as though you feel you should be?

Are you getting the love you want the way you want it because we all need love on our own terms. Working on the jealous feelings this way will work out over URL2 may take a while but you want to get this over with and not have to carry it to every relationship you go through. Always treat yourself with respect, give yourself attention, and love yourself all the way.

Never talk about the past ,if it comes up you say you just can't remember any details . It will show that it didn't matter to you . But remember the first point don't bring it up!

Jealousy is usually a sign of low self esteem. Either you think so little of yourself you pick unfaithful partners, and your jealous has a root in reality, or you think so little of yourself you don't believe your partner cares about you. Either which way, it's a problem that has to be solved internally.

I have no jealousy over my partner's relationship to his ex. He loves her, they raised kids together, that doesn't mean he wants to be with her! Their relationship is special and has nothing to do with me.

Although they talk on the phone occasionally she does not effect my life in any material sense. I have all the time and intimacy and closeness with him that I want. If you really think something is going on, and that's why you feel jealous, it shouldn't be a fight, it should be over.

A person shouldn't have to be "convinced" that fidelity is a good idea.

I have to step up and admit I used to be very jealous. I found it to be a quality I did not like about myself. Jealousy can make us look ugly and push our loved one away, if we are not careful.

I think it is possible to overcome jealous feelings. Try to be the best person YOU can be, to others and your spouse and let that be enough. If you are the kindest and sweetest person your spouse has ever met, they would never leave you for the ex.

Try to be secure and LOVE yourself first. I think change happens gradually though. If on the other hand your spouse is still speaking to their ex, that can be a problem.

You do not need to get jealous, simply sit down with your spouse and explain how that makes you feel. I do not see any reason to keep ex's in our life when we are married. If you have kids, that is one thing.In that case, you just need to support your spouse and your spouses children by welcoming the ex into your life.

You were chosen for a reason. Your spouse LOVES YOU.

Personally, I am divorced with 3 children and my new husband has a child with a previous girlfriend. Jealousy has not been an issue with us, because each of us believe that the kids deserve to have both parents getting along. Once a month my children and their father will go do something together, so the kids have the experience of having us with them at certain events.My husband does the same with his child’s mom, whenever they are in town.

Instead of getting jealous, I use my time alone to write or do something I enjoy because I know I can trust him. He does the exact same thing when the situation is reversed and I am off spending time with my children.So, I wouldn’t suggest getting jealous, because that jealousy can push your partner away and they may feel you don’t trust them to make the right choices. However, if you do have issues then you may want to evaluate why you are jealous and how you can change it, in order not to react that way.

First, it's not your business, assuming they no longer have contact. Unless you were to find out your wife was a prostitute or the girl who gave it up for a couple of beers in HS then don't think about it. If she was nice enough for you to be with then what happens now is all that matters.

I hope you don't ask things like who's better.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.