How does someone say "no" to a friend without defending themselves, or explaining their reasons?

I've had situations where I've tried that, and it seems that I have to tell them, otherwise I look like I've no good reason. Asked by Anonymous 43 months ago Similar questions: friend defending explaining reasons Politics & Law > Law.

Similar questions: friend defending explaining reasons.

When I really need to say no . . I say, "I have a commitment" and do not elaborate.

If the situation does not involve my time I say, "That would be a hardship. " I think I so often say yes that I feel no obligation whatsoever to defend myself when I say no.It must be in the delivery and in the look on my face. A good friend wouldn't pressure you for a reason, anyway.

I personally don't feel that an explanation always needs to be given. As I've gotten older, I have definately felt less obligated to say "yes" to certain things. If a friend calls and is bored and says "Let's go shopping" and all I want to do is lay on my couch, I feel like it's OK to say "I appreciate the offer, but no thank you" without an explanation about how long my week has been or that I'm broke and why I don't want to go.

If the situation is a friend calling and asking me to go shopping because she is having issues at home and needs to get out of the house or really needs to talk, then I do feel obligated to give a reason or suggestion of an alternative. If you feel an obligation to give a reason, a simple "I'm sorry, I already have plans" should suffice. Your friend does not necessarily need to know what the plans are, but if pushed you have every right to say that you have a date with your couch that you have been looking forwards to for days.

If someone is asking a favor I kind of feel that it again depends on the ungency or reasons for the favor. If I think it's something unreasonable or that they really don't need me to do, I don't have an issue simply saying, "No, I'm sorry but I am not able to help at this point". As adults I don't think we always have to give a reason and if this person is a friend, I would certainly hope they are mature enough to accept that.

If the favor is something major and your friend truly needs help that you are capable of giving that you would find a way to do so. You do also need to keep in mind that if you are someone who often asks for help that returning the favor is certainly good karma and if you are always asking but never saying yes in return that your favors will soon dry up. I personally hate moving more than just about anything in the world.

As a result, I try very hard never to ask anyone to assist with this particular task (I'll eat Ramen for a month to pay for movers first). In return, when asked to help someone else move, I have said "I'm sorry, but I'm not available. However, I'll be happy to drop off dinner for you that evening so you don't have to cook or assist you with decorating or cleaning once you're in".

That may sound selfish, but I swear I get hives just thinking about moving and do try to make it up in other ways :-) A fully cooked meal afer a day of moving has always been a big hit- and we're all happy! When it comes to money, I have learned in general it is just not a good idea. I have lost at least one friendship over it, when after lending it, the friend in question could not pay me back.

Instead of being straightforward and offering to work out a payment plan or simply say "I'm sorry, but I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back", he chose to drop out of my life. While it taught me what type of freind he really was (and was probably better off without) it was sad to lose a friendship over.In general, when asked to borrow money, I simply say no. If pushed, I explain that in addition to having very negative experiences with lending money, I generally don't have a lot of disposable cash laying around.

In desperate situations, such as not long ago when a friend dealt with a major identity theft issue that left her short rent money, I did agree to help, but put it all in writing with a set payment plan. That time worked out for me as when I recieved a payment from her, I actually put it back into savings as opposed to putting it back into my checking and actually ended up saving more than I normally would have. I'm straying a bit here, but I definately think that unless it is a dire or emergency situation, you do should not have to defend yourself or give reasons for saying no.

And don't let yourself feel guilty about it! You are allowed to say no to going out to dinner with a friend simply because you don't feel like it! You can even say that.

I have never lost a friend for saying, "You know I am really in the mood to have some alone or family time tonight, but let's get together another time." Everyone has times that they don't want to do something despite having no "good" reason. Hope that helps a little!

Sources: personal experience and opinion .

Saying no Try this: "Oh, I'm sorry, but I just can't. " It's to be said in a genuinely apologetic tone of voice, and if the person continues to press for an explanation, you maintain the apologetic tone and just rearrange the sentence: "Really, I can't right now, but I wish I could! Rain check?"

Then change the subject. The reason I like this technique is that you're not telling an outright lie since you're not saying exactly what it is that you can't do. You could be saying, "Oh, sorry, but I just can't bring myself to think that sounds like a good idea."

Or, "I'm sorry that I just can't participate in something that supremely stupid. " Leaving it vague prevents hurt feelings as long as you can manage to sound like you really are sorry, and the other person will likely drop it to avoid compounding your obvious regret. If the person is a friend but not a particularly close one, this should be good enough.

While it's considerate to explain your actions, it's not required...and it's definitely not polite to press an issue when the other person clearly wants to drop it. If the person you're saying no to is a good friend, though, I'd probably ask myself why they don't actually deserve an explanation. If you're saying no to a close friend, I'd hope that you're close enough that you can offer up a real reason and still be friends when it's all over.

Hope this answers your question! .

You answer their request for a reason with a question. Just say "no" politely, and try to change the subject. If that works, then you have no problem.

If they come back to it and ask why, say "Excuse me? ". If they don't get the hint that you don't want to give them a reason, they will repeat the question with more detail.

Then ask them, "I'm sorry, did I previously promise you that? I don't remember doing so. " If they keep pressing, ask them, "Are you asking me for a favor?".

They will say Yes. Then ask, "Do I have the option of turning you down?". They might give you a bunch of reasons for not turning them down, but then repeat, "Do I have the option of turning you down?

". The conversation can go in multiple directions from there. The trick is to keep asking questions that subtly point out that point out you have the right to say no.

When someone is asked a question, they feel obligated to give an answer. Instead, if you answer a why question with another question, the asker feels obligated to answer, and then go the extra step to ask why again. Most friends will get the hint after they have asked why 2 or 3 times, and not continue.

Now, this will not work if you refusing to do something you are expected to do or breaking an agreement. I hope this helps. Manimal's Recommendations Just Say No!

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1 Just a quick opinion here. First of all, I feel a 'close' friend would already know your reasons -- assuming they were wrong and you are right. On the other hand, for the life of me, I can't ever remember saying no to ANYBODY without giving my reason.

All in all, I'd say it depends upon how close the friend, and which one of you is right. BYE! .

Just a quick opinion here. First of all, I feel a 'close' friend would already know your reasons -- assuming they were wrong and you are right. On the other hand, for the life of me, I can't ever remember saying no to ANYBODY without giving my reason.

All in all, I'd say it depends upon how close the friend, and which one of you is right. BYE!

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A friend of mines mother-in-law told me she was part of a lawsuit against the IRS. Anyone heard of this?

My father in law was died last night I want to send the message to my friend how can write the message.

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