I am a single father of a 16 year old son. I just caught him and his 15 year old girlfriend having sex, what should I do?

I am a single father of a 16 year old son. I just caught him and his 15 year old girlfriend having sex, what should I do Asked by ddean 39 months ago Similar questions: single father 16 year son caught 15 girlfriend sex Lifestyle > Sexuality.

Similar questions: single father 16 year son caught 15 girlfriend sex.

Well, the fact that he and his girlfriend were having sex does not make him a "bad" kid. Sex is all over the place these days, and from what my daughters told me when they were teenagers, over 10 years ago, the majority of kids don't think anything of it. The thing is, at that age, you never think anything bad can happen to you.

The biggest fear, back in my teenaged days (the 60's) was getting pregnant. Today, there is so much more to be concerned about, though that is a big enough problem! STD's are rampant today.

From what I've read, 1 in 4 have some kind of sexually transmitted disease. This is scary. Also, the pregnancy issue is still big, even more today than when I was young.

I'd say have a serious talk with him about these possibilities. Is he using protection? What does he know about this girl?

Has she had other sexual partners? Also, how does he feel about her? Is she really someone important to him, or is this just "having sex", with no emotional connection?

I think a lot of people today are becoming emotionally immune - desensitized, and uncaring. They don't feel like sex is anything special, to be shared with someone they love and really care for, but just a casual thing that "everyone" does. Explain to him just how drastically his life would change if this girl got pregnant.

Does he have dreams of going to college? He, or probably you, would have to end up supporting this child, and is he really prepared for the responsibilities of parenthood? I doubt it.

Having a child would change his life forever. Does he really think he will want to be with this girl forever? Explain to him that what you like when you are 16 can be completely different than what you are looking for at 26.

I think real, and serious communication is necessary here. Now that he has had sex, he probably won't want to give it up. At least he should be made very aware of what the consequences could be, and how important protection is - for himself and the girl.

Good luck! .

A serious talk, no holds barred. If they weren't responsible, I'd talk about birth control first. Maybe offer to go get it for him.

Next I'd find out from him if he is thinking responsibly about this girl. Is he just using her, or does he care about her. If the first, I'd let him know I disapproved in the strongest terms.

If he cares, I'd go over the conversation about the meaning of relationships again (assuming you've done it before). Then I'd ask what his intentions for the relationship are. Maybe he cares about her and wants to have fun for a while, but it's not forever.

Maybe he is thinking about forever. Maybe he doesn't really care about her, and just is using her. If the latter, once again, this is not cool.

You don't approve of treating women like that (I hope). If she's a serious girlfriend, and they both are consenting, and seem to have their heads in the right place about it. I'd be inclined to support it.

However, I'd have a concern about the girl's parents. If they have a very different attitude about sexual activity, and they don't approve, then I don't think it would be wise to try to get between her parents and her. They'll try to stop the relationship, and you're supporting it.

Not good. In such a case, if the kids really wanted to go on, I'd probably take a don't ask, don't tell attitude. I'd tell my son that you don't think it's wise to do this with someone who is not being supported by her parents.

Too much trouble could result. Best to stop. If they continue (and I would say this) they better make damn sure you don't catch them again.

You will go to the girls parents, if you find out this is continuing. On the other hand, if the girl's parents are cool with it, I'd monitor it, talk regularly to my son, make sure the feelings are ok and the relationship is respectful. I'd tell him not to be surprised if the relationship doesn't last.

But to expect it will really, really hurt if it doesn't last. You'll be there to support him, and listen to him in that case. I'd also tell him his schoolwork can not suffer because of this relationship.

They *must* pursue it responsibly. No bragging. No harrassing.No late nights.

No parties with drugs or alcohol. No orgies. This is about responsibility!

.

I let him see lots of small kids... invite families over with kids... It may scare him into protecting himself and her. I think once they see it is enjoyable... they may not want to stop. I would talk with him and explain the laws and consequences.

1/3 of the babies are born to teens. Oral sex may keep him from doing intercourse.. but TV shows too much sex for kids to think they should not experience it. Go to a church that has activities for kids... keep him busy.. so there is no time for sex.

Best wishes..

Hmmm I am not sure what to tell you and I am assuming that you had The Talk with him like my parents did with me they told me that no matter what I did that I use my common sense and good judgment They said that being a parent is a full time job. I would sit him down and have a nice talk with him and explain to him the possible consequences I am sorry that I was not able to give you any more advice Just have a talk with himand when you have a talk , Try to be understanding after all, you were teenager once a upon time Good Luck Sources: my life .

1 I have a question for you. What do you think you should do? .

I have a question for you. What do you think you should do?

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