I deal with loneliness a lot - I'm just seeing if there is anyone similar here as me. What do you do when you have to deal loneliness?

I have found that the practice of Nonviolent Communication or NVC for short to be very helpful. It is also known as Compassionate Communication and it helps people to connect more authentically with each other. The communication process was developed by the clinical psychologist Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and I often privately refer to it as "rules based social skills training," because the basic process can be formated in a simple template: 1.

When I see (hear, notice, imagine are alternative words).................................(fill in the blank with an observation) 2. I feel...............................(fill in the blank with a feeling 3. Because I am needing ...............................(fill in the blank with a need).4.

Would you be willing to...............................(fill in the blank with a request. ) You almost used this template but I will fill it in for you to make the ideas more concrete and explicit.1. I notice that I am alone.

2. I feel lonely 3. Because I am needing connection (friendship, community are alternative words expressing a similar need) 4.

"What do you do when you have to deal with loneliness?" (you made a request on Mahalo for an answer) Before going on, you will want to know if there you have any other needs and you do this by noticing any other feelings you have. Lets say you also have a feeling of anxiety. Then I would associate this with a need for safety and nonjudgemental acceptance.

Once you know what your needs are, then you can brainstorm on possible strategies to meet the entire set of needs. I won't go into this because I am sure you can make a list for yourself. But you may not be taking action on any of the ideas because there are feelings and unmet needs associated with each possible strategy.

But you can use the same template above to examine each strategy and at least determine the underlying feelings and needs. In the present case, you took the strategy of asking a question on Mahalo! Since this was your first question, I am guessing you were feeling curious about this site and wanting more clarity and understanding as to how it might meet your needs.

Mahalo is an online community and there are many interests represented here. You can find people with similar interests as your own simply by asking questions about what you are interested in. You can also answer questions made by others in your field of interest.So this may be one strategy you can use to meet your need for community and connection.

It is not the same, of course, as face to face contact, but for some people, like myself, I feel less anxious on line than face to face. So while I spend a lot of time alone, I don't feel particularly lonely. I also like to write, and one of my interests is in psychology and relationships.

Now, I want to let you know that I feel happy to answer your question, and that I am answering this question to fulfill my own needs, to contribute to your well being, to the well being of others and the rest of the world too, since anyone can read my answer. I have included a few links in the sources below. The color diagrams are to help you fill out the 2nd and 3rd blanks, ie for feelings and needs.

I have written one Mahalo page on listening skills based on the same principles. This is when Mahalo in the past allowed members to write "how to" pages. Also, in my last link in the sources, look at my answer and comments to get a better feeling for the NVC process.

I hope this is helpful for you. Duenhsiyen Duen Hsi Yen.

I am a bit of a loner and value my time alone howerever even for me there is a such thing as too much alone time. I actually like to come here for interaction with people answering and asking questions is a fun light interaction and as you do it for a while you learn quite a bit not just about question topics but about people and their points of view. Being a gamer I also Play MMORPGs when I am lonely.

DDO is good because I like the fact that it includes voice chat, and it has one of the best communities I have ever seen in an MMO. Interactive communities and forums are fun too, but they can be "clicky" so be careful of trolls the last thing one needs when they are lonely are rude jerks who think being nasty is fun and funny. Look carefully at a forum before joining and be extra aware of how they welcome new members.

First off, welcome to Mahalo! I think you will see that the community here at Mahalo can be amazing. Everyone is very helpful and honest and it is a great place to share question on your mind or issues you may be dealing with.

I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with loneliness. You have not gone into much detail about your loneliness, so I am hoping and praying it is something you are able to deal with on your own, and if you are having a hard time with it, do not be afraid to reach out. As I mentioned Mahalo is a great place to meet new people online and get questions answered or even answer questions yourself, but if your problem is bigger, there are many other places to reach out to.

When I was going through a rough time in my marriage and had no adults to talk to, I found comfort in a local church. I am not the biggest "church going" person, but I found that the people at the church had huge hearts and were willing to sit and listen and talk with me. You can call pretty much call any Pastor and they are usually more than happy to sit and let you vent.

I also found comfort in going to a counselor. I was able to talk about what was making me sad, and then I was able to come home to the kids and put on a happy face. Life has its ups and downs and the best thing about hard times is that things can only get better and they will.

Typically in the end we realize that the hard times have made us stronger. You are not alone. Many people are in your shoes and struggle with loneliness.

You may even consider making yourself more approachable at work, or in your community. When my Mom was going through her divorce she began line dance classes. She knew how to line dance, but she went to meet new people.

Keep your head held high and keep moving forward. You alone ARE enough.

At one point or another everyone goes through feeling loneliness, whether you are surrounded by a ton of people or at home alone. I get lonely from time to time, but its important to ask yourself if you are lonely because you are bored and just have nothing to do or if you are lonely because maybe there is more going on. I would suggest getting out and meeting more people, join a club, take classes, anything that gets your interacting with and surrounded by more people and friends.

If after doing this, you still feel lonely then the route of the issue might be a lot deeper, whether you realize it or not. Depression is a very over diagnosed illness and automatically when someone is sad or lonely or not feeling like themselves people automatically assume they are depressed. Depression can affect anyone at anytime in their lives.

If you are constantly feeling lonely then there may be a good chance that you are depressed and more attention needs to be paid to those feelings. I had a time when I was VERY lonely and no matter what I did to avoid the feelings or pretend they were not there, they wouldn't go away. I would talk to my friends about it but found that I wasn't always completely honest with them as to what I was feeling.

Finally, I decided to go talk to someone and I have to tell you it was probably the best decision I made. I found out a lot about myself and am a much stronger person to this day for it. I still to this day have a therapist that I will go to from time to time just to have someone to talk to that can give me a different perspective or can help me look at a situation from a different angle.

Going through all that and learning what I learned gave me a strong desire to get my degree in Psychology. I spent 4 years of school getting my degree and of all the things I learned, the most important was that its always good to have someone to talk to, whether that be a friend or a therapist. I think that there are pros and cons to both.

Friends care about you and love you and are always there for you, but sometimes I find that its easier to hold back your inner most thoughts with someone you know then with someone you don't, and you are more likely to feel judge by a friend then a stranger. Its never a negative thing to go and see someone or add another person to the list of people you have to talk to. However, if that is not something that you are ready for then I definitely suggest getting out, meeting new people, and taking up new hobbies.

Find things that make you happy and that giving you meaning and maybe you'll find that you just needed to do something else. And if nothing else, a good hug always helps!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.