I want to create a reward based marriage. One where all efforts are rewarded and all hateful acts are punished. Suggestions on how?

There is no "normal" in human behavior. Especially when it comes to sexual behavior. There is that which is functional, and that which is dysfunctional .. and that is how human behavior is evaluated.

Think about it. It doesn't matter what OTHER men are like. YOU are married to THIS man.

And his sexual preferences or aversions are not going to change if you were to go to him and say "this is not normal". So there is no gain in trying to figure if most men are like this or not. All it does is get you more upset.

Your challenge is working with your own feelings here. No marriage is perfect and the only one we can change is ourselves. So either you have to accept that this is how he is now, or you have to start thinking about getting a divorce.

Which direction are you going to work towards.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.