The Bible says if they won't work, don't feed them. "been trying like hell"? Like hell you been trying.
You are a wisher, dreamer, and "do" nothing but go through the motions that make it appear you're doing something. You are needy because you expect someone else to do it for you or give it to you or wait for something to fall in your lap and don't qualify for anything because you're lazy. You've got an attitude problem, or you would have the help of family.
You have no idea what a work ethic is and are essentially still a child, with plenty of time to play and party. Neither do you have respect for rules or authority or know what they mean or why they exist or what they're for. So you are not honest, even with yourself, or responsible.
Get a tent. You are on the take and nobody wants you around. Otherwise, join a church so you can meet some responsible people and network.
You might even learn what it takes to make your life successful if you read the Bible. Donate your time and show that you are responsible and willing to give rather than just take. Ask people what you can "do" for them.
Do the jobs that everybody hates, like cleaning bathtubs and toilets and gutters. Apply for a scholarship or vocational plan; go to your local schools and talk to counselors. Apply for gov't help.
Ask someone successful, someone who would know, what it means to be a Man; not those other loafers you been hangin' with. You gotta tell them you're movin' on. Somebody's feeding your head full of crap; no help at all.
You're a whiner, might as well get yourself a cup full of pencils and sit on the corner and nurse your attitude. If you want to change, above all else, you must desire truth. No candy coating, no grey areas; find it, define it, resolve it, apply it and live it.
Without it, you have nothing to build on. You can't make a single purposeful correct decision without it. You have to come to terms with authority and rules.
That fence next to the expressway is not there to keep you out of the good life, it is there to preserve life, to give you boundaries within which you can live freely, without fear. Sure, you can climb the fence and walk the yellow line and drink and smoke and stay out all night and gamble, etc., but these do not lead to a successful life of advancement, but are lies, designed to kill and destroy and make your life miserable. You have to deny yourself entertainment and ease, and make a committment to hard work, using your time effectively and efficiently, with several things going at once until improvement takes hold.
You have to change your way of thinking, and get away from those that think like you do. One of the most important Samurai texts ever written, by Miyamoto Musashi, “The Book of the Five Rings (1643)”, offers this advice: “Think of what is right and true. Learn to see everything accurately.
Become aware of what is not obvious. Be careful even in small matters. Do not do anything useless.
There can be no great success in (life) without great commitment, hard work, discipline, and the realization of the “right” type of thinking.
A computer. And what do you have? A freakin' internet connection.
You can make some serious money with it. Go on google and type in : WarriorForum You'll find your answer VERY fast there. I won't say much more than that because if you DON'T do what I just told you to do, you ARE a lazy bum (in your own words).
I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.