If your spouse is angry about something, but doesn't open up about it, do you pursue it, or let them pout until they decide to be open?

Without knowing the dynamics of your relationship, after asking twice I would let it go until they are ready. If they get defensive about you asking, at least you know you asked twice. There are reasons why I don't want to talk about something.

Sometimes the topic/situation is fresh. I am still so angry about it that I'm afraid I'm going to yell and scream and be stupid about it, and say something I'm going to regret. These are times when I try to be calm when I tell him "We'll talk about it later."

Or, similar to that, I might have had a bad day, and just about everything irritates me. Again I don't want to yell at him, it's not his fault I'm grouchy. When I am calm and adult again I will approach him.It might be 30 minutes.

It might be two days! I also like to think things through. Perhaps it was my fault that I feel this way and not his at all.

Perhaps there was something I could have done differently. When I know I did something wrong I go to him and apologize for my behavior, and for being mad at him, when it was my fault. Bottom line is, both of you are adults.

There is no reason to baby each other.

I would let it go for a bit. I like to be left alone when something is bothering me. At some point it either stops bothering me or I get to a point where I can discuss it more rationally.

I don't like to be bothered before that point and I don't like yelling matches. So, I would give my spouse that space because that's what I like.

Yeah I agree with bklynj: I get that way sometimes, too, if I am really upset. I just want to go stomping around but I have not yet articulated what is wrong, to myself, so I cannot yet tell you. Just leave me be and remind me you are there to help, when I am ready to explain what is bothering me.

If we have to go someplace together and you cannot just leave me be, then make me laugh, and quick, ask me to please play nice for the meeting, or whatever it is.

Depends on how serious I think it is. I've gotten pretty good about reading my husband.. in the case of silly things hes upset about like.. the other night he was all sad because the lead singer of type o negative died..in that case I make light of it. I joke around until he cheers up and do razz him about it.

If it's something more serious I make it known he can talk to me but don't push him too.. if he wants I just let him lay on me and cuddle till he feels better.

Let it go when shes' ready to talk she will. But don't take it out on me as I don't take it out on you. When I have problems I usually figuree them out or at least get a handle on them before I discuss them.

Maybe I haven't found a way to put it into words yet so don't be annoying.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.