Is it appropriate to ask for the return of a major wedding gift to my niece when she disinvited me?

She disinvited me 4 days before the wedding after receiving a $1500 gift of china. Her father is my brother with whom I am estranged and he requested the disinvite and she supporting him without any remorse or direct communication. Asked by Buckheadman 6 months ago Similar questions: return major wedding gift niece disinvited Lifestyle > Weddings.

Similar questions: return major wedding gift niece disinvited.

I am stuck on this one. She should be the one to send it back without your having to say anything but, it doesn't look that way. This a tough one because it's not like she cancelled the wedding, she just disinvited you.

$1500 is a lot of money but, maybe you should let her keep it and whenever she uses it she will remember what a greedy jerk she is. Good luck. Grandma .

I do appreciate your thoughts. I am struggling with this one as she is my only niece. Our relationship is pretty irreparable now so I won't have guilt in asking but I doubt she will do the right thing.

You are nice to share your thoughts. All best to youUncle Frank Buckheadman 6 months ago .

I am praying over this one and do thank you for your thoughful answer. Buckheadman 6 months ago .

You are most welcome. I hope you get your gift back.

Don't ask for the gift back. Give unconditional love. You can see her other times when her dad is not there...see her dress/pictures etc.May peace not war.

You can't buy love with an expensive gift. Just be the model...model harmony. Don't take it personally or be offended.

I have read New age books. Be kind. She is honoring her father...but did want you at first.

Just honor her first thought to invite you.

ShashaI appreciate your perspective on this situation which have given me much heartache. My relationship with her has always been tenuous and I have forgiven her many times in the past. This was a major hurt.

I am still praying what to do. Thanks again for writing. Frank Buckheadman 6 months ago .

Heck yah. That was a really raunchy thing for your niece to do. Just tell her you would like to have your gift back please.It was very expensive and you feel that in light of the fact they found it acceptable to 'disinvite' you, you find it completely acceptable to ask for your gift back as you put a lot of thought into it and it was obviously not wanted.

It was her wedding and she was not obligated to follow the wishes of your brother. Her choice, her consequences. If she had any class at all, she would have already returned your gift to you.

I wouldn't worry about looking bad. They didn't consider your feelings did they?

Thanks so much for validating my feelings. This has caused me a lot of pain. I purhcased 12 place settings of her english bone china about a year ago in anticipation of this event.

Had she been remorseful or called to say she regretted the situation, I might feel differently as the veto from my brother was not unexpected (but they sent a formal invitation nonetheless. She emailed that she supported him---and that is what hurt the most. I doubt she has the class to return it without my insisting.

But it will have bad kharma if she doesnt. THANK YOU AGAIN. Frank Buckheadman 6 months ago .

Its a shame people have to be that way. Of course that would be painful. What a lovely gift too.

Well, best of luck to you and I hope you'll get your China back. At least there are people in the world who understand common decency. Best to focus on them.

Life is short.

An invite is an invite. As well as a gift is a gift. I've never heard of a dis-invitation?

Good grief! .

I agree. Tell her that you were looking forward to her wedding and she has hurt you by disinviting you. You have never done anything to her.

Thus, you are requesting the wedding present back since it was very expensive and you feel she doesn't deserve it now. No wedding--no gift.

Mary AnnThank you for your validation of my thinking. She is 33 years old and should have been able to say who is invited and who is not. But to dis-invite must have consequences.

Thanks againFrank Buckheadman 6 months ago .

A gift is a gift; you were generous; don't ever regret being generous. The world needs more unrepentantly generous people. Don't allow her being a jerk make you stop being noble.

WOW, talk about rude! 1st off..... her dad, your brother was out of line telling her who she can or can't have at her wedding, He should have been man enough to put your differences aside 1 day for the sake of his daughter. She needs to return your gift.

For her to keep it, specially under those circumstances is beyond rude, By all means ask for it back, she doesn't deserve it, .

Thank you for your response and for validating my feelings. Knowing her iI dobut I will ever see it, but I do have the testicles to ask as I know it is the right thing to do. Etiquette has gone down the tubes with integrity, don't you think?

Thanks againFrank Buckheadman 6 months ago .

Thank you Nicole for taking the time to reply Buckheadman 6 months ago .

I'm a wedding minister and I need a microphone and amplifier so I can be heard at weddings (many of which are outside).

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.