My friend's boyfriend just told her he was gay, how can I support her through this?

Similar questions: friend's boyfriend told gay support.

Just listen to her She's has a huge shock, an ego blow and she needs a sympathetic female supporter who isn't judgemental or offering a lot of advice. Just be a sounding board, somebody she can "let it all hang out" with. She is grieving and that takes time and psychological work on her part.

See that she gets out some and doesn't withdraw. It would be good to reassure her that this is not her fault (though that may seem obvious). A lot of hugs and pats on the shoulder help too.

She is lucky to have a good friend like you. Love can be confusing! .

Well, its better to find out now... Since coming out is difficult for a lot of people. She should be happy that she had gained his trust enough to tell her now before it was too serious (marriage, kids, etc..). A lot of gay guys try to live "straight" only breaking down later in life causing grief for everyone involved.Be glad she found out now so she move on without too much baggage...and by the way..if she's wondering if she made him gay..no, no and no.

Gay was there a long, long time before your friend ever met him ;) .

The fact that you've asked the question makes it seem like she is at least somewhat devastated. Make sure she understands that there's nothing wrong with her. I really believe that nobody can truly "turn" anyone else into a homosexual.

Some gays and lesbians will try to date the opposite sex for a while (or their whole lives) because they are confused, repressed or having trouble coming out and being themselves. They may want the world to see them as "normal" to avoid persecution, or because even though they have been raised that heterosexual is the "right" way but that's really not how they feel inside. It's possible your friend's boyfriend (or is it ex now?) finally came to terms with his orientation and wants to be honest with himself and friends/loved ones.

He may still love your friend, but not in a sexual/romantic way. Some people are more accepting of other sexual orientations. I don't know where your friend stands on this, and this might have a large effect on how she gets through this situation.

And of course, while someone may logically and cerebrally realize all of this stuff in their brain, the heart is another matter. It takes a lot longer to get over emotional things than logical things! Sources: my opinion and observation of others Iluthien's Recommendations GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens Amazon List Price: $15.95 Used from: $7.00 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 3 reviews) When I Knew Amazon List Price: $22.95 Used from: $3.68 Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (based on 21 reviews) The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families, Revised and Expanded Edition Amazon List Price: $18.95 Used from: $2.23 Average Customer Rating: 3.5 out of 5 (based on 25 reviews) many GLBT's have trouble coming to terms with their sexuality .

The same way you would for anything else... Your basic support should be fine, just be there for her when she needs someone to talk to. How is she handling it? The only thing specific to this situation I could think of is if she thought she somehow made him gay.

I would hope she doesn't think that but just in case reassure her that no one can make someone else gay, he may have kept it suppressed or tried to ignore it but he has been gay from birth. Coming out can be difficult, he may still need her support. It would probably help them both if they can help each other.

Remind her it doesn't do any good to be mad at him, he can't help what he is and it's better he tells her now than further down the line. Many married men have finally come out of the closet later in life leaving a confused wife and children.

1 Iluthien, regarding your answer "Need more detail....": Thanks for your answer! To summarize: She had been with him only a couple of months (and are broken up now...trying to be "friends"), he is very religious, but had recently stepped back a bit (obviously this is why) and he said he'd known his entire life that he was gay. My friend seemed fine when she told me, she actually laughed about it, but today she sort of had a breakdown and all I could keep telling her was that it wasn't her fault.

Unfortunately, I think that's very hard to actually comprehend when this happens...

Iluthien, regarding your answer "Need more detail....": Thanks for your answer! To summarize: She had been with him only a couple of months (and are broken up now...trying to be "friends"), he is very religious, but had recently stepped back a bit (obviously this is why) and he said he'd known his entire life that he was gay. My friend seemed fine when she told me, she actually laughed about it, but today she sort of had a breakdown and all I could keep telling her was that it wasn't her fault.

Unfortunately, I think that's very hard to actually comprehend when this happens...

My boyfriend told me that and I was confused" "DID THE CHILD SUPPORT AGE CHANGED TO 19 INSTEAD OF18. THATS WHAT I WAS TOLD FOR COLORADO . DOES ANYONE KNOW.

What does it mean when I have a nightmare about my boyfriend being gay.

Why doesn't my boyfriend spend time with me i've told him I'm lonely but he still won't spend time with me.

My boyfriend told me that and I was confused.

Did the child support age changed to 19 instead of18. Thats what I was told for colorado . Does anyone know.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.