Newborn baby help! Our 2 week old does not want us to put him down

The idea of co-sleeping and never, never letting your kids cry-it-out is ONE approach that has a lot of fans. But please allow me to present the other side of the coin... I was in an identical place as you, back in late 2007 with my first baby girl. She was fussy and tired, and would only sleep in our arms.

Within the first few weeks of her non-stop crying, I called the pediatrician in tears, asking what I should do (so tired! ). My doctor's answer: If she's dry, fed, healthy, and safe, then go put her in her crib and just let her cry for a little while.

Give yourself 15-20 minutes to let your brain reset. Go to another room, scream into a pillow if you have to (far away from baby, please). Your baby WILL BE OKAY if you let him cry.

You need to be able to feel you can detach. Now, Here are Some Strategies Going Forward: +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1. Call in reinforcements.

This is what I did. Ask family or VERY close friends you trust to come and stay with you and help with baby duties. You need to get some sleep and get out into the real world now and then.

Turn to others for help. 2. Try some new tools.

Different babies like different comfort tools. Try a *vibrating* bouncy seat (KEY WORD: vibrating!), or a baby swing|swing. During month 2 of my daughter's life that swing was the only way we got to put her down.

And our vibrating bouncy seat was a GODSEND in comforting her. That's pretty much the only way (besides the swing) that we could set her down for the first three months! 3.

Sleep in shifts. Here's the schedule my husband and I worked out (while he was working, I was a stay-at-home mom): I would go to bed for the night at 8:30-9:00pm until 2:00am, at which point my husband would go to bed. He would wake up at 7:00am and give me an hour nap, and then he'd head to work.

As soon as he got home, he'd take a nap, then take over for the rest of the evening. This IS ONLY TEMPORARY THOUGH. Your baby will NOT always be like this.

Our sleep schedule above only lasted a few weeks, before our baby girl started to agree to sleep in her crib a few hours a night.4. Hang in there! By the time your baby is 4 months old, he will be able to conform to a sleep schedule and you can work with him to sleep through the night!

So just make it to 4 months, Stephen! You can do it! My Story of How I Got My Baby To Sleep +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I didn't know about the whole "4 month rule" about them being able to sleep through the night with the right guidance.

So when my baby was 5 months old, I was broken down in tears all the time.SO TIRED! Her sleeping hours were getting worse, and she was getting crankier and crankier. I realized that there had to be a fix out there, so I did my research online to find a sleep system to help us.

I considered the Dr. Sears method of super comforting and never letting the baby cry. Some things were appealing about it--who wants to hear their baby cry? And the idea of making your baby feel loved is sure important!

But there were problems with his method (in my opinion): It didn't do enough to help my baby get needed sleep, and I wasn't so sure the baby *needed* that extra comfort or benefited from it. It seemed like *I* would be the one most comforted by the Dr. Sears method. So then I turned to another source, a book that saved my and my husband's sanity!

The SleepEasy Solution I love this system so much, I actually wrote a thank you letter to the authors and wanted to send them flowers. Their method is a *gentle* version of "cry-it-out". Basically, their method acts on the knowledge that babies NEED sleep, and that if they stay up too late in the evening their brains kick out a chemical that gives them a second wind and keeps them up most of the night, so it's very important to get them to sleep at night by their biological bedtime.

When babies stay up this late, they're missing out on valuable brain-building sleep that advances their development and makes them happier. To get them to bed, the two authors coach you through placing the baby in the crib, allowing him/her to cry, but checking in on them with reassuring words at timed intervals. It's comforting to the parents, comforting to the baby, and it helps the baby learn to put him/herself to sleep!

A VERY important skill! I didn't think it would work. I feared I was being a monster (after all, I had read all the venomous, fanatical things said against "cry-it-out" moms!).

But the book promised my baby would be able to sleep through the night within a week, and be a MUCH happier baby. So I swallowed hard and cried from another room while we tried it (partially from exhaustion, mind you). That very night we bought the book, my daughter slept 10 hours.

And then the next day she took three scheduled, peaceful naps. By Night #2, she slept all 11 hours without a fuss, and napped without complaint.In.Her.Crib. And from there on out she was a NEW BABY.

So happy! So rested! So carefree.

And yes, so affectionate. Affection has never, EVER been a problem, and she has always felt very attached and secure with her parents. I'm not saying co-sleeping is wrong, or that all parents MUST let babies "cry it out", but it's a very valid option.

ESPECIALLY once they're old enough to sleep through the night. In the meantime, try to hang in there! Lean on family, and don't be ashamed if you just need to let him cry for a few minutes now and then.

He will be FINE. And don't forget to try that vibrating bouncer! Good luck, and remember that you're not alone!

:).

If you do not believe in letting a baby cry it out, do not feel pressured to do this. There are many mothers who feel exactly the same way. I also do not believe in the cry it out method and never used it.My daughter is almost 2 years old, and I allow her to grow and develop at her pace.

Now, she sleeps through the night with no problems and is very outgoing. She enjoys being around other kids and even has no problem sharing. She is pretty easy going overall.

There was a time there I had a similar problem. The minute I put her down she would start to cry. I think at that time, she slept in her swing, her car seat and on me for a few weeks or a month.

I would try anything and sometimes it only lasted a few hours. I'm not sure how long that phase lasted.It seemed like it lasted forever. It is a phase though and will pass.

But how long, I can't tell you. You might also try co-sleeping. I'm sure I'll get blasted for this by some people but there are many benefits to co-sleeping.

Unless you are a smoker, drinker or use drugs, then having the baby in your bed will allow you and him to get some sleep. When my baby was about 4 months, I just couldn't take the up and down all night, nor could I stand the sleeping on the couch while she was in whatever sleep arrangement would make her happiest. I finally just put her in bed with me.

Like all of her phases, she moved out of it eventually. But it was better for me and for her. You can read both sides of the issue - the anti and the pro.

I had only read how bad it was for a while. Then I started looking up the other side of the issue. I never looked back once I understood where both sides stood and why.

If you read up on co-sleeping there are groups that hate it and groups that love it.It's a practice done all over the world, except it seems in a few western countries. There are many studies that tout the benefit of co-sleeping including reducing SIDS, more sleep for mom and baby, better sense of self for the baby. It may help you.

Don't think you will roll over on the baby. It is highly unlikely unless like I said that you have high risk factors but do educate yourself if you are interested. Best of luck to you.

Just remember that it will pass.

No, it's not a phase. Babies know what they need, although they don't have a big range of options to express it! I would highly suggest getting a baby wrap, and a co-sleeper attachment for your bed.

Modern Western society is pretty much alone in the history of the world, and in modern times, in thinking that babies are supposed be kept at a distance. It's based on some really bad philosophy posing as a mix of theology and psychology from the 20's, and is frankly harmful. I've got three kids.

When we brought my oldest home, we had a bassinette in our room for him. He screamed for hours. He was only 2 days old.

I nearly dropped him trying to nurse him (it relaxed me to the point I almost fell asleep for the first time in 4 days) and ended up following the lactation consultant's advice and lay down to nurse him. He snuggled right in and conked out. We ended up with that sleeping arrangement on a firm mattress, with the proper safety equipment, for several years.

He had no trouble transitioning to his own bed at a time he chose himself. We also got to skip fights over bedtime; night terrors; and all kinds of other "problems of childhood" that somehow didn't happen with the other two kids either, or with any of my friends who have done the same thing. He was later diagnosed with a heart murmur.

We don't know what disaster we may have averted by always keeping him close and responding quickly to him. He's now a smart, healthy teen (and Mahalo member)! After all three of my kids were born, I had all kinds of complements that I was the best-rested looking new mother people had ever seen!

Little secret: I was. When your baby doesn't have to work himself into a frenzy to get fed, you ALL get more sleep! The wrap thing I didn't find out about until my 3rd was born, and boy, I wish I'd had one with the first two.

With them, I had a variety of carrying devices, but they didn't like them, or the device hurt my back. I later found out that if the sling or carrier isn't adjusted just right, it can cause back strain. So no wonder.

I read about baby wraps when the youngest was a week old, and immediately went out and bought one. It was sweet freedom for me and sweet contentment for her. It goes over both shoulders, so you have both hands free.

The baby is secure; you can cross the fabric over the baby's head to reduce stimulation from light and noise, and the fabric also allows you to bend over without the baby falling out or slipping. There are at least a dozen ways to wear it; at least 7 ways to put the baby into it. It adds warmth in the winter.

You won't need to take the carseat out of the car unless you really like lugging the things around; you can slip the baby into the wrap inside the car, close your coat around the whole thing and go. You also won't need a stroller unless you really want the hassle of wheels with a mind of their own. The baby is so much more content in the wrap, too.

Even when you're not paying attention to him, he'll feel happy, content, or comforted. He'll get a better view of the world than he would stuck in a stroller or carseat, which helps reduce boredom and feeds curiousity and brain development. I've read that it helps babies develop a better sense of balance, too.My wrap was the single most helpful baby item I owned.

My son is about 16 months old. He had colic for the first 4 months after he was born. First, and most importantly, it is ok.

Having a child is going to be the most exhausting thing that ever happens to you, and when you feel upset and frustrated, don't get down on yourself, every parent does. Did you try to "baby burrito" him? If you want instructions, just ask me.

:) I used to double - baby burrito my son, so that there would be extra warmth. I also did it with thermal blankets, which stretch (and hold) easier. Set him down AFTER he falls asleep - but don't be afraid to let him fuss a little (only a couple of minutes, or he will start to go from fussy to truly freaking out, you don't want that).

Other options are things like swings - Alex would fall asleep in his, all the time. The reality of it is that you are going to have to let him cry (again, not to the point of super-upset) a little here and there to get him to sleep on his own. But swings, bouncy seats and miniswings are all fantastic tools.

Use sound machines or white noise implements (like fans) to keep him asleep once he gets there - he is used to a constant whirring from the womb. And don't be afraid to sleep in shifts. Mike and I did that after we had AJ.

I would sleep 6 hours, then he would, so that we soon caught up on sleep. Good luck. Don't EVER be afraid to ask for help.It takes a village.

Best advice I have for you? Go to babycenter.com - you will find soooo much parenting support there.

For nursing mothers who aren't experienced, the process of going through a growth spurt can be very traumatic. At about three weeks, and again at two months, and every so often in the next couple of years, children go through growth spurts and the demands for nursing become heavier. This is demonstrated in this extreme fussiness, among other symptoms.

If you're bottle feeding there could be a disconnect between you and the baby as to how much the baby requires in calories being delivered. Of course, breast milk can't be metered as it passes through to the baby, you have to let the baby lead the way. If the mother is nursing, then now is the time to let the child nurse as often as he wants, and after a couple of days he will go back to a normal pattern because he will have stimulated the breasts into more milk production.

Frankly, the idea that a two week old baby needs to "learn that he can't always get what he wants" is ludicrous. You don't discipline a 2-week-old. That is an upper level cognitive process, and the goal with a child this age is to begin to help him learn to sooth himself.

If you're not nursing and letting him pacify on the breast, then use a pacifier or help him find his thumb. As my babies were learning to go to sleep by themselves (and they often would nurse in my bed, and then I would put them in their crib when they were asleep) I found that taking the nursing pad from my bra, that had my smell and the smell of milk, and placing it on the bed right next to the baby was enough to soothe them to sleep. Even if you aren't breast feeding, one of the best (most comprehensive, in my opinion) books on baby care is from La Leche League, called _The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding_.

It talks about nursing, breast care (pumping milk, avoiding mastitis, etc. ) and issues with baby care and the family bed (yes or no--lots of opinions out there today). tinyurl.com/yzjutxg Good Luck, and here is the piece of information you MUST take to heart: raising a baby is a traumatic change in the life of all parents. If at any time you feel like it is too overwhelming, if the child is going to drive you to do something rash like give him a shake, then you must immediately put that child down someplace safe, like in his own crib, and walk away until you have calmed down.

Babies are fragile and tempers can flare and irreparable damage can be done very quickly. Ask for help if you need it, and you'll all come through this period fine. Every parent goes through difficult stages, and in a culture where we are all nuclear families and not extended family, there aren't as often those patient grandparents or aunts and uncles to step in and give you a hand and a break.

Babies are very particular. He may not like his bed, the way he is wrapped, or light, absence of light, certain noises help or don't help. Our daughter will not sleep in her crib, she prefers her fuzzy baby seat (the kind for sitting around in the living room or whatever) and she won't sleep all wrapped up in a bundle (sometimes she's tired enough) but she likes having her hands out, and she goes to sleep easily.

When babies are crying it is not always colic, though that is what many people attribute constant crying to. Our daughter as well loves the noise of a fan going in the room, darkness, mama and papa talking in the background. Why?

This is the environment into which she was born and is familiar since that is what it was in the womb. Babies have enough of a sense of how things are even then. If you try to recreate that conditions in which your son is used to in mama's tummy, it often can help him go to sleep much faster.

Don't treat him like a baby, think about how you would react to these things, given all you've been through just now. Also, baby beds are way too hard, mostly because everyone is afraid of SIDS, but you can soften it by adding a towel under the sheet, which gives a more soft feeling without the suffocation (more accurately named than SIDS) hazard. It works wonders.

And yes, I am still sleep deprived too. Hope this helps.

I have a three month old, and she is very colicy. I've found that certain noises calm her down. If you record the sound of the vacuum, that may work.My daughter loves it.

I went to Babies R Us and purchased a sound soother, it has various sounds that babies love, including womb simulation sounds. You need to find what he likes. Some babies will have a certain blanket that they love.

Babies are extremely perceptive to scents. If you take a baby blanket, and sleep with it, it will collect your scent. This is a prooven science, and is very effective with preemies that cannot be held.

It gives them the satisfaction of being held, as they can smell you. Every baby is different, but I hope my suggestions could be of assistance! Good luck with your little prince!

Letting your newborn baby cry is fine as long as you know he is dry, fed and nothing more is wrong with him. Even though some might think it is cruel it is very good exercise for his lungs. I would wrap him in a recieving blanket kinda tightly and try laying him on his back.

Maybe it would also be a great idea to have a family member help you out for a few days. New parents need good sleep as well as the newborn baby. Be patient and good luck!

This is kinda the way to wrap him a little snug. flickr.com/photos/hrtmnstrfr/271783293.

Newborns sleep a lot – typically up to 16 to 17 hours a day. But most babies don't stay asleep for more than two to four hours at a time, day or night, during the first few weeks of life. Lots of sleep for your baby and a very irregular – and tiring – schedule for you.

Your job is to respond to your newborn's cues, so you'll probably be up several times during the night to change, feed, and comfort him. What's going onBaby sleep cycles are far shorter than those of adults, and babies spend more time in rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, which is thought to be necessary for the extraordinary development happening in their brain. REM sleep is lighter than non-REM sleep, and more easily disrupted.

All this unpredictability is a necessary phase for your baby and it doesn't last long – though it may seem like an eternity when you're sleep-deprived. What's nextAt 6 to 8 weeks of age, most babies begin to sleep for shorter periods during the day and longer periods at night, though most continue to wake up to feed during the night. They also have shorter periods of REM sleep, and longer periods of deep, non-REM sleep.

Somewhere between 4 and 6 months, experts say, most babies are capable of sleeping for a stretch of 8 to 12 hours through the night. Some infants sleep for a long stretch at night as early as 6 weeks, but many babies don't reach that milestone until they're 5 or 6 months old and some continue to wake up at night into toddlerhood. You can help your baby get there sooner, if that's your goal, by teaching him good sleep habits from the start.

Here are some tips for helping your baby settle down to sleep:Learn the signs that mean he's tired. For the first six to eight weeks, most babies aren't able to stay up much longer than two hours at a time. If you wait longer than that to put your baby down, he may be overtired and have trouble falling asleep.

Watch your baby for signs that he's tired. Is he rubbing his eyes, pulling on his ear, or being more fussy than normal? If you spot these or any other signs of sleepiness, try putting him down to sleep.

You'll soon develop a sixth sense about your baby's daily rhythms and patterns, and you'll know instinctively when he's ready for a nap. Begin to teach him the difference between day and night. Some infants are night owls (something you may have gotten a hint of during pregnancy) and will be wide awake just when you want to hit the hay.

For the first few days you won't be able to do much about this. But once your baby is about 2 weeks old, you can start teaching him to distinguish night from day. When he's alert and awake during the day, interact with him as much as you can, keep the house and his room light and bright, and don't worry about minimizing regular daytime noises like the phone, music, or dishwasher.

If he tends to sleep through feedings, wake him up.At night, don't play with him when he wakes up. Keep the lights and noise level low, and don't spend too much time talking to him. Before long he should begin to figure out that nighttime is for sleeping.

Consider starting a bedtime routine.It's never too early to start trying to follow a bedtime routine. It can be something as simple as getting your baby changed for bed, singing a lullaby, and giving him a kiss goodnight. Give him a chance to fall asleep on his own.By the time he's 6 to 8 weeks old, you can start giving your baby a chance to fall asleep on his own.

Put him down when he's sleepy but still awake, suggests Jodi Mindell, associate director of the Sleep Disorders Center at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and author of Sleeping Through the Night. Mindell advises against rocking or nursing your baby to sleep, even at this young age. "Parents think that what they do this early doesn't have an effect," she says, "but it does.

Babies are learning their sleep habits. If you rock your child to sleep every night for the first eight weeks, why would he expect anything different later on?"Not everyone agrees with this strategy, however. Some parents choose to rock or nurse their babies to sleep because they believe it's normal and natural, because they enjoy it and their baby is thriving and sleeping well, or simply because nothing else seems to work.

These parents expect to get up with their baby several times during the night to help him get back to sleep. When you're ready to read up on the next stage, see Baby Sleep Basics: 3 to 6 Months.

The idea of co-sleeping and never, never letting your kids cry-it-out is ONE approach that has a lot of fans. But please allow me to present the other side of the coin... I was in an identical place as you, back in late 2007 with my first baby girl. She was fussy and tired, and would only sleep in our arms.

Within the first few weeks of her non-stop crying, I called the pediatrician in tears, asking what I should do (so tired! ). My doctor's answer: If she's dry, fed, healthy, and safe, then go put her in her crib and just let her cry for a little while.

Give yourself 15-20 minutes to let your brain reset. Go to another room, scream into a pillow if you have to (far away from baby, please). Your baby WILL BE OKAY if you let him cry.

You need to be able to feel you can detach. Now, Here are Some Strategies Going Forward: +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1. Call in reinforcements.

This is what I did. Ask family or VERY close friends you trust to come and stay with you and help with baby duties. You need to get some sleep and get out into the real world now and then.

Turn to others for help. 2. Try some new tools.

Different babies like different comfort tools. Try a *vibrating* bouncy seat (KEY WORD: vibrating! ), or a baby swing|swing.

During month 2 of my daughter's life that swing was the only way we got to put her down. And our vibrating bouncy seat was a GODSEND in comforting her. That's pretty much the only way (besides the swing) that we could set her down for the first three months!

3. Sleep in shifts. Here's the schedule my husband and I worked out (while he was working, I was a stay-at-home mom): I would go to bed for the night at 8:30-9:00pm until 2:00am, at which point my husband would go to bed.

He would wake up at 7:00am and give me an hour nap, and then he'd head to work. As soon as he got home, he'd take a nap, then take over for the rest of the evening. This IS ONLY TEMPORARY THOUGH.

Your baby will NOT always be like this. Our sleep schedule above only lasted a few weeks, before our baby girl started to agree to sleep in her crib a few hours a night. 4.

Hang in there! By the time your baby is 4 months old, he will be able to conform to a sleep schedule and you can work with him to sleep through the night! So just make it to 4 months, Stephen!

You can do it! My Story of How I Got My Baby To Sleep +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I didn't know about the whole "4 month rule" about them being able to sleep through the night with the right guidance. So when my baby was 5 months old, I was broken down in tears all the time.

SO TIRED! Her sleeping hours were getting worse, and she was getting crankier and crankier. I realized that there had to be a fix out there, so I did my research online to find a sleep system to help us.

I considered the Dr. Sears method of super comforting and never letting the baby cry. Some things were appealing about it--who wants to hear their baby cry? And the idea of making your baby feel loved is sure important!

But there were problems with his method (in my opinion): It didn't do enough to help my baby get needed sleep, and I wasn't so sure the baby *needed* that extra comfort or benefited from it. It seemed like *I* would be the one most comforted by the Dr. Sears method. So then I turned to another source, a book that saved my and my husband's sanity!

The SleepEasy Solution I love this system so much, I actually wrote a thank you letter to the authors and wanted to send them flowers. Their method is a *gentle* version of "cry-it-out". Basically, their method acts on the knowledge that babies NEED sleep, and that if they stay up too late in the evening their brains kick out a chemical that gives them a second wind and keeps them up most of the night, so it's very important to get them to sleep at night by their biological bedtime.

When babies stay up this late, they're missing out on valuable brain-building sleep that advances their development and makes them happier. To get them to bed, the two authors coach you through placing the baby in the crib, allowing him/her to cry, but checking in on them with reassuring words at timed intervals. It's comforting to the parents, comforting to the baby, and it helps the baby learn to put him/herself to sleep!

A VERY important skill! I didn't think it would work. I feared I was being a monster (after all, I had read all the venomous, fanatical things said against "cry-it-out" moms!

). But the book promised my baby would be able to sleep through the night within a week, and be a MUCH happier baby. So I swallowed hard and cried from another room while we tried it (partially from exhaustion, mind you).

That very night we bought the book, my daughter slept 10 hours. And then the next day she took three scheduled, peaceful naps. By Night #2, she slept all 11 hours without a fuss, and napped without complaint.

In. Her. Crib.

And from there on out she was a NEW BABY. So happy! So rested!

So carefree. And yes, so affectionate. Affection has never, EVER been a problem, and she has always felt very attached and secure with her parents.

I'm not saying co-sleeping is wrong, or that all parents MUST let babies "cry it out", but it's a very valid option. ESPECIALLY once they're old enough to sleep through the night. In the meantime, try to hang in there!

Lean on family, and don't be ashamed if you just need to let him cry for a few minutes now and then. He will be FINE. And don't forget to try that vibrating bouncer!

Good luck, and remember that you're not alone! :).

If you do not believe in letting a baby cry it out, do not feel pressured to do this. There are many mothers who feel exactly the same way. I also do not believe in the cry it out method and never used it.

My daughter is almost 2 years old, and I allow her to grow and develop at her pace. Now, she sleeps through the night with no problems and is very outgoing. She enjoys being around other kids and even has no problem sharing.

She is pretty easy going overall. There was a time there I had a similar problem. The minute I put her down she would start to cry.

I think at that time, she slept in her swing, her car seat and on me for a few weeks or a month. I would try anything and sometimes it only lasted a few hours. I'm not sure how long that phase lasted.

It seemed like it lasted forever. It is a phase though and will pass. But how long, I can't tell you.

You might also try co-sleeping. I'm sure I'll get blasted for this by some people but there are many benefits to co-sleeping. Unless you are a smoker, drinker or use drugs, then having the baby in your bed will allow you and him to get some sleep.

When my baby was about 4 months, I just couldn't take the up and down all night, nor could I stand the sleeping on the couch while she was in whatever sleep arrangement would make her happiest. I finally just put her in bed with me. Like all of her phases, she moved out of it eventually.

But it was better for me and for her. You can read both sides of the issue - the anti and the pro. I had only read how bad it was for a while.

Then I started looking up the other side of the issue. I never looked back once I understood where both sides stood and why. If you read up on co-sleeping there are groups that hate it and groups that love it.

It's a practice done all over the world, except it seems in a few western countries. There are many studies that tout the benefit of co-sleeping including reducing SIDS, more sleep for mom and baby, better sense of self for the baby. It may help you.