Should I tell my husband that I'm having an affair?

Unless you have proof you have no proof. If he cheated and got away with it then he got away with it. However, I understand this does nothing to help you trust him.

All you can do is chalk it up to one of life's lessons. Get over the issue and try to forget about it. I can't imagine how difficult that would be because I've never been in your shoes.

So I can be entirely wrong. What would I suggest? Watch more closely.

If you see reason to suspect him then watch even closer. But keep in mind that you could be chasing a ghost, and trying to catch him at something may just make matters worse. I was married 13 months to a woman who constantly accused me of cheating.

Turned out she was the one cheating. No, I'm not suggesting maybe you're cheating but all I can say about the experience is that it drove me crazy being constantly accused. So don't push him away by badgering him with questions and suspicions.

If it was three years ago then it is over. Your choice is to get over it or get out. An affair is not always the death of a marriage, though it can cast it into the ICU.

IF he cheated then you have the prerogative of deciding whether to stay with him or not. But keep in mind, all you have is rumor. Unless you have proof you have nothing.

Probably what started my first wife thinking I was cheating was that I carpooled with another guy who liked to wear "Waffle Stomper" shoes. They had heavy cleats on the bottom and it's possible he stepped on a lady's fingernail and it got lodged between the cleats of his shoe. When he rode in my car it snagged on the carpet and remained on the floor.

When my wife saw it she went ballistic. She SWORE she knew I had another woman in the car. No, I didn't.

But even if I did that still wouldn't mean I did anything inappropriate. My first wife was psychotic (my opinion - not a doctors opinion). The point is this, and I've said it twice before, you have no proof of anything.

Just words. And you have no idea what can be behind those words. I knew a colleague who got involved with a woman at work.

When he put a stop to it she filed sexual harassment charges against him because she was jilted. To my knowledge he did nothing inappropriate or against her wishes at the time. Still, when he decided to end it (at my advice) she got him fired with just her words.

Words can be powerful, but they can also be false. I'm not saying the rumors you have heard are false I'm only suggesting you stop and think about your relationship with your husband. If you have reason to suspect him then watch him.

But until you have proof you have nothing. Don't jump to conclusions. Take some time and examine this carefully.

And don't be quick to follow someone's advice - especially here. Some will say "Kick him to the curb", and I've said that at times, but that was in the face of evidence that could not be refuted. Until you have that irrefutable evidence you have nothing.

Sorry.?

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.