What can you do when your fiance' is not a planner and you are very structured?

Maybe both people could learn the good points about the other person's situation... I would love to find out how NOT to be a planner (yes, really! ). So maybe each person finding out the good points about the other person's approach (and how to make each approach work well in practice) might help.

Maybe each person trying the other one's way for a week might help! (well, maybe test this on different weeks actually, so you are both planners one week and both unstructured another week, and see how it works out for you as a couple). Ask each other what you liked and didn't like.... see you can see I'm a planner if I'm suggesting you PLAN to be UNSTRUCTURED, lol.

Still, the approach may work.

You have to decide if you can love and accept them for who they are. If the answer is "no" then you have selected the wrong life partner for yourself. It's been said, "Women marry men hoping they will change overtime and Men marry women hoping they will never change."Maybe both are being "unrealistic" however in my opinion you are better off in the "long run" marrying someone who is more like you than not like you.

People change when THEY want to change. The only person we can really control is ourselves.

Thanks for the input. The ideas are excellent. Maybe opposites attract.

Someone said if you look at couples, one is usually a planner - a doer - and one is not. Then others say that you need to be alike. Great answers!

I think dashingscorpio has hit the nail firmly on the head!

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.