What should I do when I'm no longer caring for a person with Alzheimer's?

Take time to recover from the exhaustion that you, like most caregivers, will have experienced. At the end of your caregiving you may discover that you are profoundly exhausted, or “bone-tired,” emotionally and physically, as more than one caregiver has confided to me. You will want to take time to replenish your resources, to catch up on sleep, to resume your exercise program, to have meals on a regular schedule, and yes, even to indulge yourself a little.

How long will that take? Well, it might be weeks or months, depending on what you do and on what support you get from others. A number of caregivers I know have continued to attend their support groups.

They continue to receive the love and affection of other group members, but they can also share that they themselves are now “recovering,” and that soon they will be ready to resume a new and a full life that might include anything. You might apply the knowledge you have gained to help other people struggling with caregiving tasks. Certainly there is a great need for this, and you would be highly rewarded for teaching others what you have learned during your long career as a caregiver.

Or you might become a fund-raiser for Alzheimer’s disease research, since you know well that further progress in this area is desperately needed. You could write a book about your caregiving experience. You would have much to share, and many would be grateful for what they could learn from your journey.

An even more interesting variation on this theme might be for you to write a book about the person for whom you provided care. On the other hand, you may wish to turn completely away from having any further dealings with this disease, and pursue all those activities that had to be back-burnered. This might include reconnecting with other family members and friends whom you may have had to neglect while caregiving, or to pursue other creative or spiritual activities.

Whatever activities you may wish to undertake, you will be able to do so with greater skills and confidence than you ever had before. You have grown, you have matured and you have extended your capabilities to where there is nothing that you cannot do. Nothing could be more difficult than what you have been through.

I personally believe that you as a caregiver of someone with Alzheimer’s disease have truly been a modern hero or heroine. Congratulations! Well done!

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