What's the best method of dealing with bullies at my 7-year-old son's school?

Bullying in school is a place for children to learn how to handle the real world. Think about how the problem would be handled between adults and apply that method of handling as well as you can to a school situation. Discuss the situation with your son.

Ask him when and how it began. Ask him if the bully picks on all kids or just him. See if he knows anything he can do to get on less adversarial terms with the bully.

If the bullying is coming in the form of non-physical attacks, your son needs to learn how to ignore insults and not insult back. We all have to learn to deal with rudeness and insults from others, but physical attacks should not be tolerated. Discuss the problem with your son's teacher.

See if he can give you insight into what is happening. It may be that your son is irritating the other children or being rude, leading to the bullying. It may be that the child in question is picking on everyone and needs to be dealt with.

If the teacher has no advice and cannot keep the bully from picking on your son, you'll have to handle it yourself. Contact the parent of the child who is picking on your son and discuss the problem. Be careful not to be accusing: "It seems our children aren't getting along, and I was wondering if we could try to work this out."

Anytime that any physical bullying occurs, call the bully's parents and discuss the situation again, being careful not to be too accusing. Parents like to believe their children are perfect. If none of that works, then I would say to teach your son to be polite and kind to everyone.

If someone else is not polite and kind back, stay away from him. If the bully begins seeking your son out, you son will have to stand up to him verbally. If standing up to him fails, and you son is being harmed, it's time to find a new school.

Cruel children who seek others to harm learn from their parents and will not be stopped without authority intervention.

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