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Yes, Positive Reinforcement programs work. On animals. On children.
On employees. On prisoners. But not on lovers or spouses.
The thing is that reward works when it is understood and accepted that you the one in control, in charge of the goodies. Animals etc are NOT in control and so they have no choice but to accept your control. But spouses and lovers think they are equal and have equal say.
And when you WITHHOLD reward from them, they resent it. And if they resent it enough, they will try to take charge. And if reward is withheld too often .... the leave the relationship.
Punishment does not work on ANY group. It is ineffective as a way to modify behavior. And even less effective in generating positive feelings towards each other.
In marriage, punishment is destructive ... nomatter how much you think (or even EVERYONE things) they deserve it, they will see it only as undeserved abusive treatment by you. You are heading for a divorce, the way you are thinking.
I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.