Why doesn't showing physical affection come naturally to me?

I am a 26-year-old female who has never been in a serious relationship (in other words, more than just sex). I recently started seeing this incredible man who I'm head over heels with. He's VERY touchy-feely, and I'm not.

The problem is that I like him touching me and WANT to reciprocate, but I feel so awkward. I almost have to force myself to reach out to him, and it drives me crazy. I don't feel like I'm being fair to him at all, and I'm afraid he'll think I don't want him to touch me when in fact, I crave his touch.

HELP! Asked by craving 40 months ago Similar questions: showing physical affection naturally Lifestyle > Relationships.

Similar questions: showing physical affection naturally.

If not, that may have a lot to do with the fact that you feel awkward reciprocating this type of affection. My family was very touch-feely when I was growing up, it was a natural part of my life and I thought hugs, kisses, touching, etc were just a normal part of life. Then I met my husband.

He comes from a very large family that isn’t very affectionate. S mother rarely shows affection.So it was not easy or natural for my husband either. He is much better after living with me for 30 yrs.

I lavished the same kind of affection onto my kids and they are very touch-feely young adults. Since this is something you would like to feel more comfortable doing, I suggest that you be honest with your man. Tell him that you love his shows of affection and that you wish you were more like that yourself.

Explain that it isn’t something that comes naturally to you, but that you are trying because he is so important to you.It is something that you have do more often or 'practice' to feel comfortable with it. Make a determined effort to 'reach out and touch somebody' on a regular basis. It doesn’t have to be a hug.

Initiate a handshake, pat a back, touch an arm, hi-five someone that you connect with. With each touch, you will become more comfortable. Begin to notice how other people touch you in a way you like and try to touch others in the same way.

A big ((((((HUG))))))) from me to you! Good luck. Kyasi's Recommendations How to Show Your Love/Affection - 100 Easy Ways Amazon List Price: $9.94 .

Creator of touchy-feely people answering.... I'm the mom that carried her kids until they learned how to walk. The busybody neighbor said I was spoiling them. Today, 30 years later I can tell you it did not make a difference.In the days of their childhodd were spent hugging, smooching and telling them how much we love them.

Hubby came accross kind of a "cold fish" because he did not show affection as I did, but I knew he loved the kids as much as I did. He came from a family that did not share their feelings. He made an effort and he learned to copy me.

Next thing he was the house's kissing bug. My son, when he was 7 years old, I would drive him to school. He would tell me to duck behind the wheel so he could kiss me and no one would see.

Fast forward.... I have a daughter and a son that are very warm, capable of having empathy and they can hug anyone that needs a hug. For my daughter as a school counselor this warmth has produced wonderful results with the students.My son, however, has not found a girl that shows her emotions as he does. S current girlfriend (serious, he says she is it) came from a family that did not show affection, no kissing or hugging but it is clear that they care for each other.

It's a matter of fact that she cringes when one of us hugs her when she arrives or leaves.It's part of our culture. Maybe it is something that if you want you can learn to at least demonstrate your affection to the person that you believe deserves to know. How sad for kids to grow up in a house without the parent's touch..

Not easy. I gotta say, I've been in your shoes, once. I know that some of mine was circumstance, but the rest came from how I was raised.It took time to move past it and learn how to show affection, without feeling so completely inept, at the same time.

First, ask yourself a few questions. Did you come from a family that wasn't overly affectionate? Have you always been this way (not that it's a bad thing!

)? Has some big event happened and you changed after it? Find what might be behind this and you may be able to move on, faster.

Nothing may be the "cause" it just may be how you are - nothing wrong with that! Clearly, you have emotions; clearly, you can express them, or you wouldn't be asking for help! :) Neither of my parents were particularly affectionate towards my sister or I and over the years, I became that way, too.

I found that I didn't automatically reach out and hold hands with a boyfriend, I didn't hug...still not a hugger! I often felt like I was forcing something that just wasn't in me. After a pretty traumatic incident in my life, I got worse.

A few years later, I really was worried that I would never feel ok with being affectionate..huging, holding hands, even sitting close to someone, often bothered me. I met someone and really liked this person and he realized that there was part of me that was fighting against the affectionate side of me or that it just wasn't part of me. He was patient, as long as he knew I was trying to open up to him, more.

Eventually, we married. While I was pregnant, I was so afraid that I wouldn't know how to "love" my child. The day she was born, I knew I could show affection, how could I not, she was my daughter.

I now have two children, but I will say that between my husband and I, he is far more affectionate than I am. I love my children more than life itself, but just am not overly affectionate.My daughter laughs, but admits that I have gotten much better. She said for a few years, she thought I hated hugging her.

I absolutely hate that she ever felt that way! She sees the difference, but knows that I do love her and my son and find more ways to show it - besides just saying "I love you. " Even my friends have picked up on it throughout the years.

I'm loyal to a fault, but cold and prickly when it comes to affection! I'll never forget the time my best friend declared it was the holidays and time for our annual hug! Sheesh!

Be open about your feelings and be open about the fact that you want this to change. If you feel that you can't overcome this, between the two of you, seek help, if it really bothers you. The fact that you know you want to be affectionate is a really good sign, you just may need a little help getting over that hurdle!

You aren't alone, though! :) Sources: experience .

2 Just tell him what you told us. We haven't got any magic wands here.

Just tell him what you told us. We haven't got any magic wands here.

I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.