Why is self-esteem important for a child with ADHD?

Self-esteem is your child's fundamental sense of being worthy, of deserving respect, and of respecting others. A child with a healthy self-esteem does not feel less than other people, nor does he feel better than anyone else. Central to transforming your child's problems into strengths is that your child develop a realistic and positive self-esteem.

He needs to regain a sense that he is able to change outcomes in the world by changing his behavior. He needs to learn that he is powerful and not fundamentally flawed because of the diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) -- that he has much to offer his teachers, peers, siblings, and parents. Because of both the insulting sound of the diagnosis of ADHD and his repeated experiences of failure in school, your child's self-esteem is doubly at risk.

It's important for you as a parent to be aware of these threats, which jeopardize your child's ability to both feel good about himself and believe that he should keep working hard to achieve his goals. You have the power to identify your child's self-doubt and to change it. Your child may feel inferior to other students because he often gets negative feedback from teachers and other students.

He may feel inferior because he notices he is having a harder time succeeding than the other students. It may seem as though schoolwork and behaviors such as sitting still come so much easier for others. It is easy for your child to make the leap to believing that he is less worthy than other students because of these difficulties.

The loss of a sense of positive self-worth and the feeling of being inferior to others causes many behavioral disturbances and academic and social disturbances, which look a lot like ADHD. As you can imagine, this dynamic can create a vicious circle: the traits of ADHD lead to low self-esteem, which leads to increased severity of the traits, which then continues the cycle of lowering self-esteem. Self-esteem is the fundamental building block in transforming your child's problems into strengths.

For a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), his self-efficacy reflects specific beliefs about his ability to make changes in his life. Self-efficacy is a component of self-esteem. Your child's sense of self-efficacy is the set of beliefs and attitudes he has about his power to make his dreams come true.

If your child has strong self-efficacy it means that he believes that if he wants to do better in school, he can work harder and do better. It means that if he wants to get along more smoothly with other students, he knows he can try harder, learn social skills, and make friends. The opposite of self-efficacy is learned helplessness, in which a person learns that his efforts won't achieve the intended results.

If your child believes that no matter how hard he tries he won't do better in school, he will simply stop trying. If he believes that no matter what he does he will never be popular with other students, he will act out aggressively toward others. The most important belief to instill in your child, after respecting himself and others, is that he can create and change his reality.

Children with ADHD are at risk for giving up, thereby making their symptoms worse and reducing their self-efficacy. Researchers have shown that children with ADHD are less persistent in academic tasks than children who do not have this diagnosis, in part because they begin to believe that they do not have what it takes to succeed. The diagnosis of ADHD creates or exacerbates some of its characteristic symptoms by lowering self-efficacy.

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