I've changed my opinion on this issue, as a new parent 19 years ago yes I repeated behavior patterns of my mother and spanked. I went to school with corporal punishment! As my oldest got older and I analyzed my parenting and reflected on what I liked or disliked about my parents, I realized that physical punishment was not good.It created more anger and disrespect.
Of course it is the easy and quickest option, it takes much more skill, patience and love for other types of discipline.
My wife and I do occasionally spank our children. For serious offences we find that a severe talking to and withdrawal of privaleges does work very well. However when after they've been running about like loonies, loosing self control, winding themselves and each other up, they eventually get into a midset where they cannot be reasoned with.
Shouting, stern talking or withdrawal of privaleges just results in their smirking or laughing. In these situations a quick smack on the bum snaps them out of their attitude, brings calm, and the issue is dealt with.
Spanking is not right on a regular basis and as only form of discipline. However, there are some situations where it can be the right action. Example: when I was little I once managed to open the cardoor (which had a childproof lock!) myself and ran out onto the street.
My mom gave me a spanking on the spot (and she hardly ever did that). I'll tell you: I never did that again, it was an important message and I got it.It depends on the child, it depends on the situation. In the end it is all about discipline - and there are many ways of disciplining children.
Spanking shoudln't be your first action, but it also shouldn't be shunned if the situation calls for it.It is a sign of a sick society that little kids nowadays will threaten to tell on their parents if a parent even threatens to spank them.
Personally, I do not approve spanking. I don't remember my parents doing that to me either. Even now a stern look on my otherwise friendly mom is enough for me to understand that i'm not doing the right thing.
I would follow the same method....being a friendly mom who advices strictly when a child misbehaves.
I don't recommend it. It certainly produces results, but not always the results you want. You'll get short-term obedience, but in the long term?
That's another question. Of course, every kid is different, every parent is different, and it's probably possible to use spanking to discipline kids without fostering anger and resentment. But I don't know how.
We never spank our children. By doing so, the children rather become adamant not to listen to our guidance. It is better to convince them politely about good or bad things.
My parents were strict, and I was very well behaved because of it. They taught me to respect them, and I knew never to cross my mother. I was never once spanked!
Coming from generations of a family that believed in firm discipline, this is not only an accepted form of punishment, it should be expected. My mother and her siblings were very much disciplined growing up. They knew what was expected and the consequences if they didn't oblige.My father spanked me when I deserved it, and I sometimes got it when I didn't.
End result - nobody in our family ever got in trouble with the law and our names never ended up in the paper in the police report. It is all about respect - knowing right from wrong, good from bad - and having boundaries. I am not a parent, but I work with young people and they WANT boundaries and they want to know what they did is right or wrong.
When I was in school and I heard an administrator in the hallway fostering discipline with a paddle on a peer, believe me, everyone in the classroom got to attention real quick. NOBODY wanted to be the next one to be paddled. There is a difference between discipline and abuse.
If you send a child to her or her room, what do they do - play on the computer, their cell phone, play video games? C'mon people. We're losing our kids because they don't know what discipline and tough love is.
RESPECT is the bottom line. Get it and give it.In that order.
Discipline is the greatest gift you can give your children. But discipline is not spanking, discipline is a reflection of the love you have for a child. You show love in everyday actions and when a child does wrong you help them learn from experience as best you can.
Your expectations will become the child's expectations until the child matures. Behaviour is learnt. Good instincts are learnt Problem solving, independence, social skills are learnt.
The parent should be the one to teach these by example. So when you become a parent you begin to be interested in the ingredients of a happy life because that's what you want for your child.
I did and I stopped. I saw my daughter change quickly. She started to hit me back and then she would "spank" me and others if they did something she did not like.
She also saw her aunt and uncle spanking their kids and I realized that the more she experienced it the more she thought she was right in hitting others too. So, I do not think it produces the right results. When I saw my brother and sister-in-law spanking their kids, the kids stopped right away what they were doing but they would then burst into tears.
They would also just burst into tears if they thought they might be spanked when we caught them doing something "bad. " So, watching this and having experienced it myself, I decided to stop (even if I spanked and explained). So, I don't think spanking is a good thing.
I Hate this the children only ever become worst due to their childhood lives anything that happens to them then will stick with them besides there is much easier forms of punishment without laying a finger on your child. Like grounding them when they are young or taking stuff off them when they are older.
I think spanking teaches your child negitave behavoir patterns and can lead to anger managment issues.
No way , so why do we think it is okay to hit children, they are under are protection and we should show them the correct behaviour towards other human beings.
I have mixed feelings on this subject. My husband and I do occasionally spank our children. They response has always had good results as a deterent to bad behavior.
However, with that said, you as a parent have to be controlled and calm. I fear that spanking can lead to abuse and that is wrong. I find that taking away privileges works wonders unless they become complacent about that privilege.
You have to take away something that really matters for it to work effectively. More importantly, you have to stick to your guns and be consistant! I am blessed with great children that only need a little correction and they have learned that there is most definitely consequences for their actions.
There is a whole lot of difference between discipline and purnishment,i believe there are thousand and ways to produce positive result in children other than to spank,i. E a constructive interaction ,so never will I support beating a child or spank.
I have two fine children, girl 12, son 27, who were never spanked and, I hope will never spank. If you can't deal with a child without resorting to violence you are too butt stupid to have one.
I cant really gove you an answer,but what I can give you is a way to a solution, that is you have to find the anglde that you relate to or peaks your interest. A good paper is one that people get drawn into because it reaches them ln some way.As for me WW11 to me, I think of the holocaust and the effect it had on the survivors, their families and those who stood by and did nothing until it was too late.